Sunday, August 4, 2013

Don't Look Now (1973)

I chose to watch this film not only because it's on the list, but because it's also #1 on a list called "The 100 Best British Films".  What does this mean?  It beat out Withnail and I, Lawrence of Arabia, Trainspotting, and all Monty Python movies.  This film is listed as a horror film and beat out 28 Days Later.  No, no no.  1000% no.

Don't Look Now may be listed as a horror film, but it is far from it.  It is mostly a drama with a couple psychological horror moments.  These moments are few and far between.  Also, there is a ten minute sex scene for absolutely no reason at all.  The director thought, "Hey, I have a woman with the tiniest boobs on the planet, she deserves to show them off for ten whole minutes!  I don't care why!"  And he did.  It does not fit in with the tone of the movie at all, it is so random.  And why did I have to see Kiefer Sutherland's dad's skinny ass?  Why?

This looks like a made-for-TV movie people watch late at night.  I mean, the picture itself looks like it.  The story is not much better.  A couple let their kids play unsupervised near water.  Their daughter falls in and drowns.  Later, the parents move to Italy for work.  Well, the dad is busy restoring an old cathedral while the mom stays in the hotel.  A very creepy sister duo approaches them.  One sister is blind and claims to see their dead daughter.  The mom believes them and thus starts a chain of events.

The dad's level of Italian fluctuates from scene to scene.  In one scene, he speaks flawlessly to his workers, and in another he begs someone to speak English to help him.  I don't get it.  Also, let's talk about blood in this movie.  It looks like red candy cane syrup.  The worst fake blood I have ever seen.  Every October I work on a haunted house and we have used a variety of ways to make fake blood.  It never looks as bad as this.

Anyway, this film is awful with a bonus terribly hilarious ending.  I will give it a 4/10.

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