Broken Blossoms (1919)

Happy belated Birthday America!

I didn't expect to start the month of July feeling feels, but today's film is Broken Blossoms (or the Yellow Man and the Girl).  I wondered, why is he yellow? Is he wearing a raincoat?  Then, I finally realized, oh he's Asian.  I never would have guessed that, but then I don't live in 1919 America.

The best part was just witnessing how people dressed and looked back then, almost 100 years ago. I love their makeup.

The yellow man, who isn't named (but later his shop says Cheng Hueng which might be his name) lives in China.  He wants to bring Buddha's message of peace and tolerance to the British people, who seem to fight and conquer everything.

After moving to a bad neighborhood in London, reality sets in and he all but gives up his missionary dreams and just tends to his shop.  Meanwhile, there is a boxer that regularly beats up his daughter.  The yellow man decides to help her out.  The boxer is none too pleased that a Chinese man is going after his daughter, so he beats her to death.  The yellow man arrives too late to save her, but shoots the boxer anyway.  Feeling depressed, he stabs himself.  This is tragedy of Shakespeare proportions.

It's surprising that a film featuring an Asian hero would be directed by the same guy who made the KKK is Awesome film a few years back.  Wasn't expecting that.  By the way, the yellow man is actually played by a white guy.  There's like 20 billion people in China, they couldn't find a Chinese actor to play him?  I'll give this film a 6/10.

Frankenstein (1910)

A quick look at Wikipedia tells me that there are 63 films based on the story Frankenstein. That's a lot! Today I'm watching the very first film adaptation.

It says at the beginning of the film that it is a liberal adaptation. And I actually liked that.  Films don't necessarily have to be exactly like the book. With this being the first Frankenstein film ever made, I was kind of surprised they took so many liberties.  When I think of Frankenstein, I think of a steampunk laboratory in a scary castle, with lightning flashing. (Remember that the name Frankenstein refers to the scientist, not the monster! I keep forgetting that.)

Instead of sewing up decaying body parts for his monster, Dr. Frankenstein creates a very scientific potion and tosses into a tub. From that, the body grows, like a plant.  It may look silly now, but the effect of the monster being created is commendable for 1910.

The monster is grotesque and stalks Dr. Frankenstein and his wife.  But then, he looks in the mirror and realizes what a monster he is. So he vanishes! But, his reflection remains. This is possible because mirrors are actually portals into other time dimensions (if we're following the multiverse theory). So the monster goes to a dimension where he'll be more accepted.

Dr. Frankenstein sees the monster as a reflection in the mirror. So, we see that the monster he created was an extension of the evil in his mind. And when it vanished, the evil in his mind vanished too. I'm giving this film a 6/10.

Intolerance (1916)

The word "epic" was actually created to describe this film.  Here we get four films for the price of one. And it's a good thing we get title cards to explain everything because it switches from story to story randomly. I'm giving this film an 8/10.

What are the four stories?

 One focuses on modern times (1916), where a girl's life go from bad to worse at the hands of do-gooders who honestly think they're helping society. Will she ever catch a break?           Amazing acting right here. You can truly tell she's sad. When the director tells her to emote more, that is some emoting!  I did like the car chasing the train scene.                                                                      

                                                                  

The next story is about the French Catholics versus the Protestants. I don't know what the difference is, but they hate each other.  Very nice period costumes here. I like the attention to detail.

Third, we have the story of Jesus and some things he did in the Bible, like save a woman's life.  He also turns water into wine at a party.  The best I can do is turn Dr. Pepper into ammonia. Jesus is the best kind of friend to bring to a party.

Lastly, we have the story of the fall of Babylon. This is the story with the most amazing setpieces. Here's one right now!

All of the sets were built for this movie. There are some spectacular battle scenes, even one with a guy cutting someone's head off.  The makeup and special effects focusing on the battle wounds is very impressive for the time it was made.  Even to today's standards, the buildings, large gate doors, and temples of Babylon are grandiose in scale.

At the end, we see angels watching over the people of Earth in the midst of battle. Again, how did they do this without any technology?               Here's another thing I loved. The colors. There are scenes that are sepia, purple, blue, green. Skittleriffic! Why can't all "black and white" pictures be like this? I'd be more apt to watch them. It definitely cuts up the monotony of the constant greyness.

Last but not least, Vintage Boobies. You're welcome.

Birth of a Nation (1915)

After 4 days and an entire box of lemon Girl Scout cookies, I have finished The Birth of a Nation. The birth of my daughter Azalea took me 24 hours. This movie is over 3 hours and is just as painful.
The first half is a tedious personalized account of the entire civil war. Now, my family lives in Florida, but we are from Alabama.  So every year in school we were taught all about the War of Northern Aggression over and over. That's all they really focused on.  I don't even know what happened during the Vietnam War. So I don't need yet another long history lecture again. Yes I know Lincoln was shot. He died on my birthday, April 15th.  The first half was like living my childhood history lessons all over again. I thought I was done with that. In fact, the only way I could sit through a silent movie is to provide a soundtrack of my own. So the entire time I was watching it, I played Rage Against the Machine.

   So the second half is where it gets interesting. I could show this to my in-laws, tell them it's a documentary, and they would accept it as fact. That fact I find hilarious.  My half of the family is white, while my husband's is Native American. He said that "you won't hear us whining about reparations, and they took our land". Probably why you don't see any Native Americans in this film.

After the civil war, it shows how Congress gained its first black members.  They drink alcohol, eat fried chicken, and put their bare feet on the furniture. These are terrible people.  Something must be done, and the main cute white guy in the film sees some kids being scared off by other kids under a sheet, like a ghost costume. Ghosts are really scary, but not as scary as Ferris wheels. I don't know about you, but I am terrified of Ferris wheels.

The main evil guy in the film is Silas, who is half black and half white.  Unlike panda bears, who are both black and white and everybody loves them, Silas is a shady ass motherfucker who is bent on power.  In school we would have referred to him as "shady tree". He tries to force the pretty white girl to marry him against her will, but luckily she is saved by the unicorn people.

The other little girl in the film gets chased by another black guy, but leaps off a cliff to avoid him. However, she doesn't die immediately, she dies a slow painful death, like a Shakespeare character. Actually everything is slow and painful in this movie. This movie gets a 7/10 because I understand that it was groundbreaking, but it was too long.