El ángel exterminador (The Exterminating Angel) (1962)

Today's film is The Exterminating Angel.  It's supposed to be a comedy but its more of an absurd comedy than a laugh-out-loud comedy.  I don't understand absurd comedy at all.

So these rich people are at a party, and they all end up spending the night.  The next day no one is able to leave the room.  As time passes, they start running out of food and water and their situation grow more dire.

I get that it's supposed to be about the Spanish bourgeoisie and the whole situation with the civil war and communism.  But how can we relate to this film today?  When I watched this film, I thought about comfort zones.  A lot of people can't leave a bad job or bad boyfriend because they are trapped in their comfort zone.  They're too afraid of the unknown, of what else could be out their that they can't leave.  The same way with the party goers in the film, none of them could leave the room.  In addition, no one on the outside could enter the house to rescue them.  That's because there is no one else to pull you out of your comfort zone, you have to do it yourself.

Eventually they learn the secret to escaping the room and get out.  But the story doesn't end there.  Another group of people get stuck at a church.  These two incidences show that all their money and faith get them nowhere in life.  I didn't find this funny but I found it unique.  I will give it an 8/10.

2 or 3 Things I Know about Her (2 ou 3 choses que je sais d'elle) (1967)

Today's film is 2 or 3 Things I Know about Her.  Yaa, more like 2 or 3 Things I Hate about this Movie.  It's the absolute most narcissistic boring pretentious film I have ever seen.  This is the pinnacle of false intellectualism.  We have reached Mount Everest, people.

Within ten minutes you'll already realize one thing: this guy really hates capitalism.  Which is funny because here he has the freedom to express his opinion, but in the type of society he wants, he would be forbidden.  The worst part is that he freaking whispers the whole movie, meaning I need subtitles just to understand what he says.  The sound levels are absolutely horrible in this movie.  And if they can't even get the sound right, what else can go wrong?

The movie doesn't really have a story per se, its mainly just an excuse for the director to complain about everything.  If I wanted to hear constant complaining, I'd just go to my mother's house.  This film has no redeeming qualities.  Therefore, I cannot recommend it to anyone.  I will give give this film a 3/10.

Memorias del subdesarrollo (Memories of Underdevelopment) (1968)

Today's film is Memories of Underdevelopment.  It's not quite a documentary and not quite a drama film.   It takes place in our southern neighbor of Cuba in the 1960s.  Back then, Cuba was like newly communist and no one knew how long it would last.  Several Communist countries have risen and fallen.  The Soviet Union collapsed and the Berlin Wall fell, but Cuba still stays strong even in the year 2016.

There is a main plotline of a man named Sergio, used to a wealthy life, as he tries to keep up his lifestyle.  He watches his entire family including his ex-wife flee to the USA while he stays behind.  He works as a landlord for several properties and doesn't do any actual work.

Interspersed throughout the film, we see actual historical footage of events that shaped Cuba's history.  It is very educational and I did learn a lot about the history.  Cuba has helped to create Florida's culture as well, especially within the past 100 years, since so many people came up here to live.

After each historical lesson, the film returns to Sergio's story, with the first scene always being somebody's butt.  Usually a random woman's butt but sometimes we get treated to a man's butt, which is always nice.  It's like the film is saying, thanks for listening to our history, here's a butt shot.  I would have paid more attention in class if I could have seen more butts.

The most interesting person through all this is Sergio.  He still wants the life of the rich bourgeois, but in a Communist state, the workers get everything.   He loses a lot but still doesn't change.  And he has this obsession with creating an ideal woman, when there's nothing wrong with the women that he's with.  His wife finally gets fed up with his antics and leaves for America.  He tries to do the same to other women but it backfires on him.  The world he lives in is changing and growing, and yet he keeps stagnant.  He talks about Cuba being an underdeveloped country as well as its people.  I think the most underdeveloped thing about the movie is Sergio himself.  I will give this film a 7/10.

The Jungle Book (1967)

So I figured since I reviewed the live action version last month, I really should review the original Disney version of The Jungle Book.  You can read the review of the 2016 version here.  I actually like the newer version better.

I had the great fortune to watch The Jungle Book in the theaters when it was re-released in the early 90's.  It was originally made in 1967 and was one of the last films approved by Walt Disney himself.  This film is especially rare since the earlier ones focused on princesses more, and there are almost no female characters in this.

The whole film feels a bit rushed.  They also tried to cram too many songs in there.  All anyone ever remembers are Baloo and King Louie's songs so it's not like it matters.  My husband asked me why the vultures looked like the Beatles.  They didn't have the vultures in the live action film, and obviously their song was cut.  They actually were based on the Beatles because the filmmakers wanted them to voice them, but it didn't work out.  I think it would have been hilarious if they actually did.  That makes me think, what is the difference between vultures and buzzards? I really don't know.

The character of Mowgli is also a lot different.  The live action one makes all these inventions, which show off his human cunning and intuition whereas cartoon Mowgli doesn't do this.  The cartoon character also seems a lot younger and more immature.  Live action Mowgli chooses to leave the pack of his own volition in order to protect them from Shere Khan.  The cartoon one simply gets kicked out and doesn't understand.

My daughter really loved Shere Khan.  When he appeared on screen, she would jump out of her seat and yell,  Tiger! Tiger!!! RAWRRR!   I believe this is because my husband and I both went to Auburn and are huge Auburn Tigers fans.  We have tiger stuff all over our house and love tigers.  So Azalea simply can't see a tiger as a villain.

Overall, this isn't the best Disney film, but there are some good songs and it's great to watch with kids.  I will give it a 6/10.

Cléo de 5 à 7 (Cleo from 5 to 7) (1962)

Waiting on a medical test is one of the worst things ever.  It makes your anxiety go up like 1000%.  Even if it turns out to be negative, it's the anticipation and the not knowing that makes it so bad.  Especially when it takes a few days, that makes it even worse!

Today's film is Cleo from 5 to 7, and it's simply about a lady waiting for results for her medical test.  This will determine whether or not she has cancer.  She is worried about having terminal cancer and is a nervous wreck.  What is worse is that today is the summer solstice, the longest day of the year, but it feels even longer for her.

Cleo can be a bit melodramatic.  Believing she is dying, she buys a black hat and generally annoys her friends.  But she just needs someone to listen to her.  She finds that with Antoine, a soldier on leave from Algeria.  He has to go back to the war soon.  They talk about going to war and having cancer, and it makes Cleo feel better.  Antoine offers to go to the hospital with her.  It turns out Cleo does have cancer, but it's treatable and the doctor already has a treatment plan in mind.  Cleo feels a lot better about her situation.  Even though it's not exactly the best result, the horrible feeling of not knowing is over.

The problem I have with this film is that if it's called Cleo from 5 to 7, shouldn't it be in real time?  It's only like 90 minutes long.  That is kind of disappointing.  Also, the editing of the film is sloppy and distracting.  I didn't like it.  Other than that the film itself is okay.  I will give it a 7/10.

Come Drink with Me (Dai zui xia) (1966)

Yay! It's time to watch a kung fu movie and today's will be Come Drink with Me!  This is a fun film that is full of a lot of action.  And it stars a woman!

So the bad guys kidnap the governor's son and hold him for ransom.  The price will be the release of their leader.  The governor sends his best constable to rescue him.  She also happens to be the governor's daughter.

The constable, Golden Swallow, at first wears her hair up in a bun and men's clothes.  Everyone calls her a young man, but it's clearly obvious she's a woman.  This proves a point we learned by watching Mulan: All you have to do is put your hair in a bun and everyone will believe you are a man, no matter how feminine you look.

Golden Swallow is helped by a drunken singing beggar called Drunken Cat.  He is funny and always tries to help her.  She arrives at the temple to fight everyone and rescue her brother.  There are some great fight scenes here.  However, she is hit by a poison dart and runs off.

She is rescued by Drunken Cat, who really is a kung fu master in secret!!  The bad guys are being helped by an evil monk, who is also a kung fu master!  So many kung fu masters, more than you can shake a stick at!!

The bad guy monk wants Drunken Cat's staff for reasons, but he's like NOPE.  And they have awesome kung fu battles.  Meanwhile, Golden Swallow manages to save her brother without having to give up the bad guy leader.  Golden Swallow and her band of female fighters battle with the bad guys.  Then, Drunken Cat and evil monk guy have a battle of the staff.

This movie was exciting and had excellently choreographed fight scenes.  Also, it had decent female characters without being patronizing.   I will give it an 8/10.

Hanyo (The Housemaid) (1960)

Today’s film is Hanyo, The Housemaid.  It is a very interesting example of early Korean horror as well as a moralistic lesson.

The film opens and closes with a husband and wife discussing a newspaper article about an affair between a married man and the family housemaid.  The film is an imagining of such an event and how it can destroy the entire family.

The husband, Mr. Kim, works as a piano teacher in a factory full of young female workers.  Since he is one of the few males they ever see, several of them are going to like him.  It’s just nature.  A worker makes her friend pen him a love letter, but she gets suspended and later kills herself in shame.  In response, the worker goes to his house to take piano lessons, but she has a plan.

Mr and Mrs. Kim both want a housekeeper.  They just purchased a larger new house and Mrs. Kim is about to give birth soon.  The worker suggests a woman who seems unbalanced and they hire her as their housekeeper.

The whole movie ends up being like Fatal Attraction if the crazy lady lived in their house full time.  The housemaid takes advantage of Mr. Kim and becomes pregnant.  She uses her condition to manipulate him until Mrs. Kim convinces her to abort it by “falling” down the stairs.  In retaliation, she also kills their older son the same way.  It is a common trope in both Korean and Japanese horror for victims to die by falling or being pushed down stairs.  It is interesting to see it exists as early as a film from the 1960’s.

Nobody expects the housemaid to be as  cunning and manipulative as she is.  She becomes convinced she must kill herself and she wants to bring down the husband with her.  Neither Mr nor Mrs. Kim ever call the police for anything she’s done and essentially let her get away with everything.

Then at the end, the husband and wife, who were discussing the news, turn to us and explain that this could happen to anyone.  Yeah we know we literraly just got done watching it.  We don’t really need the school lesson at the end.  I will give this film a 7/10.

Carnival of Souls (1962)

Today's film is Carnival of Souls.  It used local actors and a tiny budget, and has a quaint charm.

It focuses on Mary, who is in a car that is drag racing. The car drives off the bridge and crashes into the water.  The cops drag the water but find nothing.  Later, Mary emerges from the water unharmed with no memory of what happened.  She then moves to to new town and finds work as a church organist. No matter  where she goes, she encounters a creepy man with a white face and black eye area. He appears out of nowhere to her.  She even sees a doctor, who believes these apparitions are a result of survivor's guilt.  Throughout the film, she is time and time again drawn to a mysterious building.

We find that the building was once a carnival, and now houses the souls of drowning victims.  Through this, we can easily predict the ending, that Mary actually did die in the water after the crash.  I think the whole thing was a dream right before she died.  Like she was sort of aware she was dead but not fully.  I remember having to read An Incident at Owl Creek in high school and it focused on this same issue.

Even thought the movie was very predictable and not very well acted, it had a genuine creep factor so I will give it a 5/10.

Andrei Rublev (1966)

Today's film is Andrei Rublev,  which is about a guy who lived a really long, long time ago in Russia.  We remember him as a an artist who painted icons, or religious artwork.

The film is very long, but it is broken up into chapters that detail different random parts of his life.  Like him being hired to paint icons. He is excited about that.  Then, there is widespread famine. He is not excited about that.  Seems like Russia is always going through some famine in these films.

 A huge portion of the film has nothing to do with Andrei at all. Instead, it's about another man making a huge copper bell.  It shows in great detail how everyone worked together to create it. If only they put that much effort into growing food.  Our friend Andrei is standing round watching them make the bell just like we are.


Overall, the film was pretty good and tells a lot about life back then. I will give it a 8/10.

Dr. Zhivago (1965)

This month we are focusing on films from Russia and the post-Soviet counties.  We start this month with Dr. Zhivago.  It has sort of the same plot structure of The English Patient, wherein a love affair during time of war is told through flashback, but there is more excitement in this film.

This movie actually spans quite a but of history.  Of course the flashback starts in the late 1930's, when Stalin already had power, so we get to hear how everything happened.  It begins with Yuri Zhivago's childhood as he moves to turn of the century Moscow.  Then he becomes a doctor and experiences life in first class Russia.  He has a crush on Lara who likes Pasha.

Pasha is involved in peaceful demonstrations against the government.  The country is sharply divided between rich and poor, and they desire equality for everyone.  Which sounds good in theory, the Russians just execute it very terribly.  Pasha's ideas and demure nature change when he is violently attacked by riot police/soldiers during a peaceful demonstration.

Lara marries Pasha.  Even though Yuri is still in love, he settles for Tonya.  During WWI, Lara and Yuri work together and he stays faithful.  During and after the war, the country starts falling apart, and they begin to run out of food and supplies.  Then, the Communists manage to kill the royal family and overthrow the government.  Now everyone can starve equally.

Yuri's family house has been confiscated by the government, so they stay in the cottage. When Tonya becomes pregnant with her second child, Yuri encounters Lara again and this time and this time he does sleep with her.  It is amazing that even when the country is going down the drain and everyone is starving to death, that men will still find time to cheat on their wives.

Yuri acts like everything is normal with his wife.  He rides back through the woods to get to Lara in town, and is kidnapped by  the evil Strelnikov's forces.  They force him to work as a doctor on the front lines.  Oh guess what? Strelnikov is actually Pasha for reals!!  He hasn't even been to see Lara or their daughter, Katya.

The government closes in on Lara and Yuri, for his non-regime-friendly poetry, and her being the wife of a really dangerous person.  However, they refuse all offers of help.  Man you people need to swallow your pride and get the hell out of this country before you get yourselves killed.  Meanwhile, Yuri's family, remember the wife and babies he left behind to shack up with the blonde? Yeah she was smart enough to leave for Paris like six months earlier.  Unfortunately, Yuri will never be able to see them again.

The story of them ends sadly.  Yuri dies of a heart attack in the street, and Lara dies somewhere in one of Stalin's labor camps.  They have a daughter but we don't know what became of her.  The story of their love is told by Yuri's brother, who is sure he has found her.  But without DNA evidence, there is really no way of knowing.  In the end, he sees her carry s balalaika, just like Yuri's mother had.  Did she inherit her musical talent from her? She really could be his daughter!

Overall, yes the movie was long, but it covered a significant part of Russian history.  And yes, it did focus more on romance. If you want to more of the Revolution, read a freakin history book.  I will give this film a 9/10.

O Pagador de Promessas (The Given Word) (1962)

Today's film is O Pagador de Promessas, which translates to "a payment for promises" and has the English title The Given Word.  The film goes to show you how stubborn men can be and the trouble it can cause.

Zé lives on a farm in Brazil.  He has traveled a very long way, 7 leagues in fact, while carrying a heavy cross on his shoulder.  His wife, Rosa, accompanies him on his journey.  They get to the church of Saint Barbara, and Zé intends to leave the cross at her altar in order to fulfill his promise.

Meanwhile, a man called "Handsome" sees them lying on the steps of the church and invites Rosa to his hotel so she can avoid the rain.  However, he is creeping on her the entire time.  I see him as mainly a character to distract her from her husband and create drama.

So, in the morning it's Saint Barbara's festival.  Zé sees the priest and tells him his story about his promise.  However, he has one fatal mistake: He talks way too much!  All he had to do was tell him that he made a promise that if his favorite donkey was healed, he would carry a cross and lay it at her altar.  That's it.  But no, no, he has to run his mouth.  He didn't make the promise in a church, he made it in a house of witchcraft, or macumba (which is an old-fashioned term for early non-Christian religions, kind of how like Santeria is practiced here).  This makes the priest all kinds of angry and he refuses to let Zé into the church.  Thus, the stubbornness stand off begins.

So is Saint Barbara and Iñasã the same person?  Technically yes.  When missionaries went to other countries, they often mixed local customs to make it easier on the people.  The best example is Brigid.  She's a Celtic goddess in Ireland.  The Christians couldn't "get rid" of her, so they declared her a Catholic saint, Saint Brigid.  Is she a real person? No, she's a goddess.  In the same way, people pray to Saint Barbara and her macumba counterpart, Iñasã, mainly against fever and illness.  It is important to know that Barbara was a martyr who died for her beliefs.  So, people like Zé can't tell the difference between them, because there isn't, while a conservative priest certainly can.

Very soon, the media takes over, and starts putting words in Zé's mouth.  The whole thing turns into a media shitstorm circus, just like Dog Day Afternoon.  The only person who sees any sort of reason is Rosa.  She tells him to take the church's offer and stop letting the press get to him, and that they should leave and go home before anything gets worse.  But, Zé is super stubborn and will not take anything for an answer until he gets his cross inside.  But we already know that's not gonna happen!

So they get the cops called on them.  The bystanders in the crowd tell them to run before they are arrested or maybe shot!  Lol, Brazilian cops are just like American cops, shoot first and ask questions later.  However, he can be easily arrested for disturbing the peace, which is what he is doing.  Anyway, cops being cops, they start a massive free for all fight which results in Zé's death.  But, absolutely no one else is hurt in the slightest.  Why?  So, the crowd gathers around him and ties his body to his cross and force their way into the church.  Zé finally did keep his promise to Saint Barbara, but he died for what he believed in.  And all of this for a donkey.  What have we learned from this?  I will give this film a 7/10.

Sedmikrásky (Daisies) (1966)

Today's film is Daisies.  I loved this film! It was hilarious!

The film takes place in Cold War-era Czechoslovakia.  Two girls, both named Marie, decide to be bad and do generally naughty and mischievous things.  The film is overall wacky.

Most of the film, the two white girls stuff themselves with food, especially whipped cream topped desserts, and hit on older men.  I really identify with that and therefore this film speaks to me on a spiritual level.

There's so much cool stuff going on.  Camera tricks, editing tricks.  Marie cuts off other Marie's head and her disembodied head floats around laughing at her.  The colors of the scene change often.  This is like a visual, constantly moving art piece.

Another important scene is where the two Maries cut up a bunch of phallic shaped foods into pieces with their scissors.  I'm sure this is very symbolic of the feminist nature of the film.  Also, they cut out magazine pictures and eat them.

The Maries end up eating and destroying an entire banquet.  They feel bad about this, so they try to clean up, only to have the chandelier land on them!  They also question if they even exist.  How does one prove that?  This film is so artistic and so much fun.  However, it is not a long film.  That is because film production had to be halted because everyone was arrested for wasting food.  Oh, well that is communism for you.  I will give this film a 8/10.

À bout de soufflé (Breathless) (1960)

Today's film is À bout de soufflé (Breathless).  I honestly did not like this film.  It begins with a car thief (Michel) shooting a cop and fleeing to Paris. He visits his sort-of girlfriend, an American named Patricia who sells newspapers on the street.

 Patricia  starts off with "boo hoo I think I might be pregnant but I'm not going to make sure or even mention it again for the rest of the film".  Wasn't she supposed to go to the doctor? You can't just announce something like that and not follow up later in the story.  What a cheap way to invoke drama!  This was obviously written by a man.

Besides, Michel is a really nasty awful person.  He keeps blowing smoke in her face and he never takes that nasty cigarette out of his mouth.  For someone who is supposedly his girlfriend, he tells her that she makes him want to puke and she's a scumbag.  He spends all his time on her phone in her house but doesn't show her any respect.

Patricia finally tells the police where Michel can be found.  When they catch up to him, they shoot him on the spot and he dies.  This doesn't shock me because police shoot people all the time, just watch the news.

I know many people must have liked all the random jump cuts, but I did not.  It was distracting and at times irritating.  Even the editor himself said it wasn't intentional during the film's shooting.  There's no deeper meaning to the jump cuts.  So many people look for a deep meaning for everything when there's really not.  The film itself was written on the spot by Godard (both writer and director) and it definitely shows.  I will give it a 3/10.

If... (1968) and Elephant (2003)

Today's movie is If... !  It's a look back to high school days, but it's also more than that.  My high school was almost exactly like this, except, you know, we're girls.  The main character, Mick (played by Malcolm McDowell) is a upperclassman who enjoys rebelling against the system with his friends.
The staff of the school are rather bizarre and let a group of seniors, called Whips do all the discipline, which they are more than happy to dole out to Mick and his friends.  Mick and his friends are not bad people, they are free spirits in a restrictive environment.  After a particularly cruel beating Mick and them are forced to clean out the basement, and find grenades, because of course there'd be grenades in a basement.

During the Founder's Day celebration, everyone is gathered inside until Mick and friends smoke them out.  As they run outside, the group picks them off with automatic weapons from the rooftop.  This entire part is surreal, because no one would really do this.  Oh wait, I live in America, yes this sort of thing happens quite often.  And no one seems to know what to do to prevent it.  I will give this film an 8/10.  It's more about rebelling against an unforgiving strict society that aims to keep us down.


Today's film is also Elephant, which can either be called "sad homage to a film like If.." or "sad reflection of today's reality".  The story is basic at best.  Really long takes of people walking, long takes of the sky, like I don't care.  In both films, we don't see any parents interacting with their children.  Except for the one drunk dad who's a screw up.

Then, there's the bullied kids who end up shooting up the school.  If you're wondering how it's possible for them to obtain weapons, well I live in Florida where it's extremely easy to buy guns.  There's a gun store on every corner, and shooting ranges/clubs everywhere.  There was a famous ad here from Nation Trucks that offered a free AK-47 with every purchase of a truck.  In actuality, they gave us a $400 voucher for the gun store where you could buy anything and the AK-47 was an attention grabber.  It really is the best and easiest to handle out of the automatic weapons. imo.   Also, the kids could just get it from their parent's room.  The man who shot up the church in Charleston got his gun as a birthday gift.

The problem with Elephant is that we don't get to know anyone whereas in If, we get to know Mick and his friends, and even some of the minor characters in other grades.  It's more like a documentary style.  But there's no heart in it.  It's just some bullied kids who can't handle their emotions and anger taking it out on everyone around them.  The threat of being shot, along with common core, is one of the reasons it might be a good idea to homeschool.    Most schools nowadays have metal detectors because of the sheer amount of shootings.  Also, the movie takes so long to get to its point, and then oh its just a school shooting for shock value.  Yeah I learned nothing.  I will give this film a 2/10.

Il deserto rosso (The Red Desert) (1964)

Today's film is The Red Desert.  It reminded me of looking at a painting in a museum.  It's pretty to look at, but not much is going on.  It was quite artistic though, I will give it a 6/10.

The story focuses on Giuliana.  She was in a car accident, and even though she wasn't badly hurt, she seems to have be traumatized by the event.  No one really understands what she's going through.  She's married and has a son, but is pursued by the handsome Corrado, played by the same guy who would later play Dumbledore.  I was like hell yeah get that lady, Dumbledore.  You don't get to hear his distinctive voice since everything was dubbed over in Italian.

Giulana spends some of her time at the power plant/factory/whatever where her husband works.  Everything is cold and steel, and there's lots of red paint.  This was Michelangelo Antonioni's first color film, so color is going to be an important part of the film.  When she walks past the water, it's not a beautiful blue color, it's icky green and brown with pollution.  She and her son notice poisonous yellow smoke coming out of the smokestacks and wonder if it kills the birds.

I think part of the problem is the Giuliana is a natural person.  She needs to be out in nature.  While painting her store, she decides on blue and green - natural, cool colors.  Outside, the machinery is painted bright white and red.  Everything is dead or polluted outside.  She says when she looks out over the ocean, she forgets about the land.  The ocean is beautiful, natural and endless.  She tells her son a bedtime story about a gorgeous beach, where a girl swims, alone and happy, while the whole land sings.  Maybe she is this girl in her dreams.

Let's talk about Corrado, who is there to recruit workers for a factory.  Yay more destruction.  I know in Spanish corrido is a form of ran, does this refer to his constant desire to move cities?  We know from the beginning that he's interested in Giuliana but doesn't act on it until the end.

Later, she receives another scare when her son starts acting sick.  Even though she is assured that he has had all his vaccinations, his legs aren't responding and she believes he has polio.  She finds out that he was faking it and runs off upset.  Corrado uses this as an opportunity to take advantage of her.  Giuliana leaves and retrieves her son, where they again walk the empty dead landscape around the factories.  

David Holzman's Diary (1967)

Today's film is David Holzman's Diary.  This film is of great historical significance because it features the world's first vlogger.

David wants to make a video diary about his life.  He has lots of neat equipment: a videocamera, sound recorder, and microphone, all adding up to 19 pounds he carries around everywhere.  This is very interesting because we can see how far technology has come.  I can film myself on my iPod touch, which has a much better camera and weighs less than a pound.

The problem is that David has nothing to say.  He wants to film himself and his girlfriend, but she is having none of that.  He disrespects her wishes and films her asleep, so she leaves.  So now he's all alone.  Lots of people have vlogs now.  They can be about anything.  It can be about someone's interesting life, a journey across the country, raising kids, or hobbies.  But David's blog is literally about nothing.  In the end, he realizes this and gets frustrated with himself.  He doesn't properly lock up his equipment and they get stolen while he is out of town.  So that's the end of the movie.

This movie may seem like a documentary, but it's actually a film with a script. The people are just actors.  It looks realistic so I will give it a 6/10.

Les parapluies de Cherbourg (The Umbrellas of Cherbourg) (1964)

Today's film is The Umbrellas of Cherbourg. This movie is colorful and beautiful.  I love the jewel tones of Genevieve's house.  What's unique about this movie is that every single bit of dialog is sung, like an opera!

The first exposure I had to this film was while watching Futurama.  Fry's dog waits for 12 years for him to return, which he never does.  The song playing during the final scene is from this film.  If you listen, the music is repeated several times during Genevieve's speaking/singing parts.

The plot is pretty straightforward.  Genevieve loves Guy, but they are both young.  Genevieve lives with her mom and works at her umbrella shop, while Guy has been drafted into military service.  Since there was a war at the time, Guy expects to be gone for two years.  Since this is obviously Genevieve's first love, she is totally devastated.

Two months after Guy's departure, Genevieve discovers that she's pregnant.  Meanwhile, her mom's umbrella shop isn't doing too well.  They're running short on money, and it's probably because her mom, Emery, wears a brand new outfit every single scene.  I think she's spending way too much money, and when forced to sell her jewels to pay off debts, she doesn't want to.  She relents and decides to part with her pearl necklace, which catches the attention of a handsome jewel dealer, Roland.  Later, Roland confesses to Emery that he fell in love with Genevieve at first sight and would like to marry her.  Both of them are afraid to admit that she's pregnant to him.  Roland states that he's going away for business and will return a few months later for her answer.

A few months pass, and Genevieve is getting big! There is no way to hide her pregnancy any longer, and she is worried about what Roland might think.  Guy, the father, knows about the pregnancy and talks about it with her through the mail.  Roland doesn't care that she's pregnant, and wants to raise the baby as his own.  He loves Genevieve no matter what.  Genevieve is impressed and flattered.  She knows the baby needs a safe and secure household, and who knows - Guy could be killed in the war any day now.  Then, what would become of her?  She does what she thinks is right and accepts Roland's proposal so she and her baby can live the life of luxury and never have to resort to selling off possessions just to not lose their house.

Soon, Guy's military service is up!  He happily returns to Cherbourg, but Genevieve is not there.  Where is she?  Her mom has sold the umbrella shop and moved away.  Guy learns from his family that Genevieve married Roland and had her baby.  She didn't even bother telling him herself.  Guy is very depressed.

Later, Guy marries his friend Madeleine out of desperation, knowing he can't have his true love.  He has a son with her. He buys a gas station, like he promised to do with Genevieve.  Years pass, and a rich older Genevieve stops at his gas station with her daughter, Francoise.  Guy has named his son Francois.  She asks him if she wants to see his daughter, and he says no.  He's never seen her before and it would hurt too much.  They both quietly and uneventfully part ways.

Even though every line is sung, this film is more realistic than most romance movies because most people don't end up with their first true love, and they have to make the most of what they do have in life.  I will give this film an 8/10.

Goldfinger (1964)

This year is the 51st anniversary of Goldfinger.  This time, Bond is asked to follow Auric Goldfinger, a jeweller that has gold literally everywhere.  How is he moving it across borders?  Of course, if it's done illegally, then the government is going to seize some.  The government wants some of that gold pie and are sending Bond to do their dirty work.  Bond's like adddventure time and leaves immediately to follow them. 

Adddventure Time!! - James Bond, probably

He has met Goldfinger before, and banged his girlfriend.  Goldfinger retaliates by making his minions paint her gold, which kills her of "skin suffocation".  Ok, we don't breathe through our skin. We're not frogs. Come on.  Bond needs to learn to say no sometimes.

While driving along following Goldfinger, Bond encounters Tilly the terrible sniper, who is out for revenge for her sister's death.  Her sister is the gold-painted girl.  After an awesome car chase inside a building, Bond is captured and almost killed.  By a laser! In the book, it was a tablesaw but lasers are awesomer.  This is actually the first time a laser appears in a film.  Bond bluffs his way out of death and is taken to Auric's horse ranch in America.  The pilot of his plane's name is Pussy Galore, which is the best Bond girl name ever.  She rejects his advances because she's a lesbian.  Pussy Galore is the real hero of the story!  She flies a plane, does judo, and saves the day!

Goldfinger plans to gas the area around Fort Knox to render everyone unconscious so he can reach the gold.  However, the gas he plans to use is deadly.  Pussy Galore switches out the gas tanks on her flying brigade's planes so they won't kill anyone.  In the book, Goldfinger does plan to steal all the gold.  But in the movie, Bond uses his math skills to show how impossible this is.  So Goldfinger's new plan is to blow a dirty bomb on it, which won't destroy it, but irradiate it and make it useless.  This in turn will make Goldfinger's gold worth more.  Bond does manage to kill Oddjob, but someone else turns the bomb off and without Galore's intervention, everyone would have died.  This is the most exciting Bond film so I will give it a 7/10.

From Russia with Love (1963)

Yay! A film based on my favorite book - From Russia with Love!  This is the second Bond film made, both starring Sean Connery.  Bond has such cool stuff. He has a folding rifle, car phone, mini tape recorder, and this book was written in 1957!  Bond is straight up future!

The movie is a bit more convoluted than the book.  Originally, it was simply the Russians who set up Tatiana to meet Bond.  But the filmmakers had to toss SPECTRE into the mix again, rendering the Russians innocent.  So SPECTRE is playing the Russians and the British against each other.

Tatiana is played by Daniela Bianchi, who won Miss Universe in 1960.  Bond in the movies look different from the books, mainly because we have to look at him.  He has black hair, blue eyes, and has scars.  He's not great looking.  Ian Fleming intended him to be a dull person that awesome things happen to.  But in the movies he's different.

 

 

Even though MI6 knows it's a trap, they send Bond to retrieve the Lector (a codebreaking machine) from Tatiana, who has promised it in return for safe passage to England.  Bond meets Kerim Bay while in Turkey, who helps him during his mission.  They decide to travel by train to England.  It would have been smarter and quicker to travel by plane, because Bond flew to Turkey, didn't he?  Well this is what we call a plot device, since traveling on a train will take days, there's more chance of dangerous and exciting things happening.  There'd be no movie if he just flew back!

 

 

Lots of villains try to attack Bond, but fail. There's lots of action, and even a boat chase! Exciting!

 

Remember when I mentioned that Bond dies in this novel? Well he does. He's killed by Klebb, the scary Soviet lady.  In the movie, she's more timid of her boss rather than scary.  She's killed by Tatiana in an effort to prove her loyalty, so Bond doesn't die in the film.

 

Even though the filmmakers made this film more complicated than it needed to be, it was still an enjoyable watch.  I will give it a 6/10.

Dr. No (1962)

I read all of the James Bond novels in college, so I've never seen any of the movies.  I don't feel like I need to, because books are always better than movies.  But, most of the series is on the list, so I'm going to go ahead and just watch them all.  I'm going to compare them to the books a little bit.

Today's film is Dr. No, which is the first film, but not the first book.  All the books make references to the events and characters in the other books, but this one requires no previous knowledge.  Quarrel and Strangways met Bond in Live and Let die, but they simply meet in this film.  And, when M fusses at Bond to use a better gun because his Beretta jams on the last mission, he's referring to the mission in From Russia With Love (that's the first book I read).  Now if Q gives him all his weapons, wouldn't he have given him the Beretta too?  Yep! A fan wrote to Ian Fleming complaining about Bond's gun, so this complaint dealt with here.

There have been other films with action in them before, but none like this.  The others have had elements of mystery or suspense, and this is just straight up action.  It ushered in a new era of action movies and started an entire franchise lasting all the way to modern times.  We are still making and watching Bond films to this day.

The plot is simple.  Dr. No and his goons are bad; James Bond and the British people are good.  Also, the Americans are good, but we really don't need their help.  Also, space travel is good, radiation is bad.  We don't learn anything about Dr. No, or his metal hands, but we know he's using radiation to stop Americans from launching their space shuttle.

The book goes into more detail about Dr. No and why he has metal hands.  The film matches up to the book pretty well, it just leaves out a lot.  It's like reading the cliffnotes.  You just get what you need for the basic plot and nothing else.  This leads us to have nothing but excitement the whole time.

When Bond sees Honeychile (called Honey in the film) on the beach, she is butt naked, but is not attractive since she has a broken nose.  In the film, she's beautiful, not disfigured, and wearing a bathing suit.   Even though several different actors play Bond in the films, it's not really different than reading the books.  He dies in From Russia with Love, and in the next book, he's totally fine! He's like a Looney Tunes character!  In this sense it's okay for different people to play him. I will give this film a 6/10.