I wanted to like this movie. I really did. It's just something about movies set in Africa, somewhere I've never been, that's intriguing. But I did not like this movie. Maybe it's because Humphrey Bogart is in it. I have just never enjoyed any movie he's in and I cannot tell you why. I don't like his style.
This movie was so predictable it's not even funny. I knew the stuck up Rose Sayer would change her entire personality during the film. It wouldn't be a romantic adventure if she kept refusing to be near him (Charlie Allnut, played by Humphrey Bogart). Come on, he's not even remotely handsome and he's dirty. But, he is the only non-German white guy around. She has to be with somebody. That would suck only having one choice for a man.
They decide to destroy a German warship using homemade weapons (torpedoes) from their little boat, The African Queen. Will they succeed even though their plan is really far-fetched? Of course they can! This movie writes itself!
The African Queen sinks before they have a chance to strike. The Nazis aboard the warship capture Rose and Charlie and plan to hang them. Charlie asks the captain to marry them before they die, because it would mean a lot to Rose. (Why? Because Katharine Hepburn was 44 years old at the time of filming, so I assume her character would be the same age. If she was that old and never married, she might end up in cat lady heaven, which is filled with cats. Charlie does not want this.) So the captain agrees to marry them. Before they die, the warship explodes! It explodes because it ran over The African Queen and set off the torpedoes. So, they were successful in destroying it. Also, even though the warship exploded with them on it and almost everyone died, Charlie and Rose are totally unhurt and float away to safety. I am not even making this up. OMG, the more I write about this movie the more I hate it. I will give this movie a 5/10.
"If she was that old and never married, she might end up in cat lady heaven, which is filled with cats."
ReplyDeleteI have never heard this bit of theological reasoning before, however it makes TOTAL SENSE. Thank you for this illuminating contribution to my personal hodgepodge belief system. :-)
Sunny D
Ha ha, thanks! :)
DeleteFunny review. I mostly agree. Minor nitpick: the movie plays in 1914 so the Germans aren't nazis.
ReplyDeleteThank you, I had no idea.
DeleteYeah, the attack on the German ship was a harebrained idea and that goes a long way to this movie a bit too silly. And I actually like Bogie.
ReplyDelete