The first full hour is nothing but a Christmas party. I dont like Christmas parties in real life, why would I want to watch one? Fast forward through to the second hour because nothing happens and there is nothing to push the plot at all until then.
After Fanny and Alexander's sickly father dies, their mother immediately gets it on with the bishop meant to comfort her in her time of loss. Yeah he comforted her all right. So he asks her to marry and move in.
The bishop asks her to leave all of her and the children's possessions behind. Ok, red flag number one right there. He wants you to leave everything from your past behind, including clothes, books, toys, because he is trying to control you. I was glad that she said she was going to ask her children, but at the last moment, she demands the bishop kiss her and decides to follow his command. Come on lady, you can't let your horny-ness win out over your own children.
Of course the kids don't like him because he is awful and beats them. The mother doesn't realize his true ways until after she gets knocked up by him. She tries to leave, but he refuses to agree to divorce. The children's grandmother's boyfriend cleverly sneaks them out of the house, and there's some magic nonsense that goes in, and then it's back to the original storyline. Their pregnant mother gives the bishop some sleeping pill-laced tea and bolts. Will the sleepy tea kill him? Well, it could. But since she can't murder him, it is up to the most cop-out plot device of all time to take effect. What is it you ask?
He has to die by some horrible or unforeseen accident, the way most Disney villains are. There's no custody battles, divorce court, or staying at a battered women's shelter for this woman and her children. Nope, it's best if he just dies quickly and no one is at fault. Well, that was real fucking convenient.
The children and their mom return to their grandmother's stately home and live happily ever after. The whole movie was an hour's worth of plot in a three hour drawn-out mess. It gets a 3/10.
I wonder if it would have been better to watch it spread out over time, with the longer 5-part mini-series version? (Persona is the only Bergman I've seen so far, so I can't say much about my own opinion of his films.)
ReplyDelete