Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Vinyl (1965)

Today's film is Vinyl by Andy Warhol, the artist that paints soup cans.  According to my research, he made 70 films (including shorts) in his lifetime.  It is supposedly based on the book A Clockwork Orange but I wouldn't know it if I wasn't told.

About A Clockwork Orange: I tried reading it once, couldn't figure it out, and gave up.  I have seen Stanley Kubrick's version a few times, but let me tell you something.  I hate Stanley Kubrick. He destroyed The Shining, which was a terrifying book, and I will not forgive him for that.

The first four minutes are nothing but James Franco pumping iron while some woman smokes in the background. Then something happens at the top of the screen but I don't know what because no one bothered to move the camera.  James Franco then proceeds to read something off screen for a while and it's obvious this is the first time he has ever read it.

Then, he dances for a while.  Really terrible white guy dancing.  I imagine this is how my dad danced in high school.

This is what I really think: I think that a group of people at a party decided to put on a play, and agreed on A Clockwork Orange because they had to read it in high school but vaguely remember it.  Since it's a small apartment, the other partygoers sit around and drink and smoke but remain in the picture.  Somehow Andy Warhol was there to film it but didn't know how to move the camera.  Then some critics watched it while high and decided to make us watch it to complete a list so we could feel their pain.  I feel like I was trolled. There is no way I can take this "film" seriously.  I will give this film a 2/10.


  1. That's way too high a rating. :-)

    This "film" has all the production values, story, and acting skills of teenagers horsing around in their room and then uploading the result to Youtube. If it did not have the name Warhol attached to it this would have been long forgotten, and probably never noticed in the first place.

    This would be my pick for the worst entry in the entire list.

    1. How does Andy Warhol get away with it? It's like he's deliberately making it bad to see how the critics will react yet they still love it. I don't understand.