Sedmikrásky (Daisies) (1966)

Today's film is Daisies.  I loved this film! It was hilarious!

The film takes place in Cold War-era Czechoslovakia.  Two girls, both named Marie, decide to be bad and do generally naughty and mischievous things.  The film is overall wacky.

Most of the film, the two white girls stuff themselves with food, especially whipped cream topped desserts, and hit on older men.  I really identify with that and therefore this film speaks to me on a spiritual level.

There's so much cool stuff going on.  Camera tricks, editing tricks.  Marie cuts off other Marie's head and her disembodied head floats around laughing at her.  The colors of the scene change often.  This is like a visual, constantly moving art piece.

Another important scene is where the two Maries cut up a bunch of phallic shaped foods into pieces with their scissors.  I'm sure this is very symbolic of the feminist nature of the film.  Also, they cut out magazine pictures and eat them.

The Maries end up eating and destroying an entire banquet.  They feel bad about this, so they try to clean up, only to have the chandelier land on them!  They also question if they even exist.  How does one prove that?  This film is so artistic and so much fun.  However, it is not a long film.  That is because film production had to be halted because everyone was arrested for wasting food.  Oh, well that is communism for you.  I will give this film a 8/10.

Dead Man (1995)

Today's film is Dead Man.  At first, it seems like a normal Western.  But really, it's an art film and it becomes more obvious as the film goes on.

It stars Johnny Depp as William Blake, who is traveling by train to the Wild West to get a job.  But when he gets there, there's no job!  No one in the town welcomes him, and through bad luck, manages to get shot.  He meets a Native American named Nobody who helps him, but lets him know that the bullet is in a position to kill him.

So, Nobody is played by Gary Farmer, who actually is First Nation.  And, this film is entirely in black and white.  But, I'm still not going to tell my husband the truth because it's still funny.  The black and white is actually an important aspect to the film, because they really play with shadows a lot.  I think of old German Expressionism, like The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari while I'm watching this.  The pictures in Dead Man were inspired by Ansel Adams, a photographer who did all the pretty landscape shots a long time ago.

There are some elements of a normal Western, like a posse, and gunfights, but soon we get into weird territory.  A lot of the movie is weird.  But we know this is about Blake's journey into the next life. Nobody mistakes Blake for the similarly named poet and this affects how he treats him.  What if he knew he wasn't the same person? I wonder about that.

This was unlike any Western I have ever seen. I will give it a 7/10.

Naked Lunch (1991)

Today's movie is Naked Lunch.  I often have that on the weekends.  Let's talk about this film. It is bizarre but it is awesome.

It starts with Bill, who is an exterminator.  His friends and wife have been using his bug powder as drugs.  Bill is called in by the cops and a bug, which talks out of his butthole, tells him to kill his wife.  It only gets weirder from here.

Bill does end up killing his wife, Joan, but by accident.  He tries the bug powder drug and decides to play William Tell with her and shoots her in the head.  This seems kind of out of the left field, but there's a reason from this.  The author of the book, William S. Burroughs, accidentally shot his wife playing the same game.  So this event actually happened.

Bill leaves home and goes to the "Interzone" - Morocco, which he also does in real life.  This film was made during the Gulf War so it was actually filmed in Toronto. Just fyi.  Also fyi- Jaime from Mythbusters worked on the props in the movie! He built the mugwumps!

Bill becomes a writer and writes lots of reports on his typewriter.  During his drug episodes, the typewriter turns into a beetle looking thing with a talking butthole.  We also learn a lot about Bill's thought process. The real William S. Burroughs was an openly bisexual drug enthusiast, and the film is a semi-biopic about him writing the book.  The real book is about... I don't know.  All of the people in the film are also based on real people.

Bill meets an American couple in the Interzone, Tom and Joan (the wife, Joan, looks exactly like his wife, Joan). She seems like an important character that we will look out for.

After Bill's typewriter eats Tom's typewriter (yes eats) Tom kidnaps Bill's typewriter for revenge and destroys it.  Bill and Joan use an Arabic typewriter to write some smut and it turns into a wily humpcrab and gets tossed off the balcony by some dominatrix looking lady.  What we don't know yet is that the dominatrix is actually Sheriff Brody in disguise and he is a drug lord.  (Random thought. He also played the Captain on Seaquest 2032 and I loved that show when I was little. Does anyone else remember that show?)

Crap I thought I could explain this film and I can't.  It's really easy to dismiss it as being about drugs.  Well it is about drugs, but it's also a lot more than that.  It's more about the difficulty of the creative process.

After Tom destroys the typewriter, Bill's adorable boy toy Kiki takes him to an elven kiln where they make him an oddly shaped typewriter with +5 writing power.  Look at it! It's like a doctor told it to open its mouth and say ahhhh.  This is so funny.

This thing is called a mugwump.  Wait, wasn't Dumbledore a mugwump? Yes, he was a Supreme Mugwump until the Ministry of Magic booted him. A mugwump is an amphibian like creature, like a murloc except it has no spines.  It also has tubes that drip out jizz, you know like a man has a tube, I'm just gonna stop here. The jizz gets you high.  The mugwump produces the jizz at a high rate in the midst of the creative/writing process.  It's like mana for writers!  It can also make jizz without it, but at a much slower rate.  Bill finds many of them chained up surrounded by junkies.

Can Bill stop the drug lord?  Well no he doesn't want to.  I will give this film a 9/10 because it is the most creative film I have seen in a long time.

Les maîtres fous (1955)

Today's film is Les maîtres fous.  I have been thinking about this film for over a week, which is sort of a half documentary-half fiction movie.  My main question is: what was the filmmaker's intention in making this?

The film starts off with showing off the town and various jobs people do.  Then it shifts to a remote location where everyone gets high and becomes "possessed" with the spirits of various European conquerers (occupiers).  They cook a dog over a fire and eat it and then do other random things.  Then, their high wears off and everyone goes home to their normal day jobs.

When this film first came out, it offended near everyone.  It offended the African viewers because it portrayed them as exotic and wild, full of strange rituals Europeans can't understand what with all their technology.  It offended the European colonists because the actors were mocking them under the guise of being possessed.  It was banned in various countries across Africa.

After watching this film, I went to Jean Rouch's website to find some answers.  I still don't understand the purpose of this film.  Being a fictional documentary, I have no idea what is real and what is not.  Am I supposed to learn about the people of this country from this film or is this all fake?  I got absolutely nothing out of this film.  I will give it a 3/10.

Eraserhead (1977)

Today's film is Eraserhead.  Yeah.... I've got nothing.  This is a dark, shadowy film that emulates the feeling of being trapped in a nightmare world.  This movie is very weird and very off-putting.  I would not suggest this as a date-night movie.  It's like a surrealist film yet it has a semi-plot.  I see it as more of an art piece rather than a narrative film.  I will give it a 6/10.

The Adventures of Mark Twain (1985)

Today's animated feature is The Adventures of Mark Twain.  I am struggling to figure out what the target audience of this film is.  It is way too dark and frightening for young children, and as an adult, it did not interest me at all.  This is my reaction after watching this.

 

Mark Twain's birth and death coincides with Halley's comet.  The last time Halley's comet appeared was a few months before I was born.  So, there is a chance I will never see it.  And you know what?  I really don't care.  But, Mark Twain did care about seeing the comet again and believed that it was his fate to go out with the comet.  This film takes that very literally.

 

Mark Twain builds an elaborate balloon/flying machine thing and hopes to fly to the comet.  Yes, he wants to fly into outer space and see the comet.  That's fine for a kid's movie, right?  No, his goal is to slam into the comet so he'll die.  He makes several allusions to this before he reveals his intentions.  He feels his life's work is complete and he has no more to offer.  A suicide mission in a kid's movie.

 

The weirdest part is his flying balloon has an index-o-vator, an elevator that features all the stories he has written.  The characters go in and out of the stories/real world as they please.  For example, the most famous characters, Tom Sawyer, Huck Finn and Becky stowaway on his balloon and later try to stop him from flying into the comet, because their lives are at stake as well!

 

Sometimes, the film would illustrate stories that Mark Twain wrote, such as the jumping frog.  The movie, weird as it is, would be okay if not for the heavily Christian, fatalistic overtones.  At least 85% of this movie is the story of Adam and Eve.  What does that have to do with Mark Twain flying into a comet?  I don't know.  If I were the question the filmmakers' choices I'd be here all day.  I don't want to watch an hour's worth of the story of Adam and Eve.  I feel like I was tricked.  And, I'm glad Azalea is too young to question things because I don't know how to explain why a cartoon character wants to kill himself.  I cannot believe that someone thought it was a good idea to make this movie.  I will give it a 2/10.

Flaming Creatures (1963)

Huh. I did not know anyone could film a movie with a potato.

  

This was listed as an "experimental" film, which means it should be innovative. What is innovative about this film? Certainly not the camera technique. That was the equivalent of me handing my two-year-old a camera and letting her run wild around the house. Most of the movie made me feel very dizzy. I do not like feeling this way.

When I say "filmed with a potato", this expression doesn't even come close to describing how blurry and unfocused the footage is. They must have bought the cheapest camera they could find at K-mart and made this movie.

What is this movie about? Good question. The first part is an instructional video on how to put on lipstick. Then we see some penises. And maybe a few boobies, but then mostly penises. I was unable to get a proper head count (lol penis joke) because the footage was so grainy.  There is no story at all, just a few sexual acts and people with bad makeup jobs and naked guys. Kind of like college.

The only reason this film ever got any notoriety is because it was seized by the police for being indecent. They should have just seized it for being awful. I'll give this film a 3/10.

Memento (2000)

Huge Spoiler:

A man with no short-term memory tries to find his wife's killer. In truth, he was the one who killed her. His wife tricked him into giving her too much insulin because she was tired of dealing with him. Due to the traumatic nature of his wife's passing and his own mental defect, he was able to partially block this memory, attributing it to another person. There. I just saved you two hours of utter confusion. You're welcome. Film gets 5/10 for being backwards. Stop trying to be all fancy.

L'âge d'or (The Golden Age) 1930

For the first few minutes, we get to learn all about scorpions. They truly are fascinating creatures.

Then, the title card said, 'Picturesque Views of the City', and that's exactly what we get. Suddenly, we see a man kicking a violin down the street.  I am sure it was a very bad violin that called him names.

The poor man and woman keep trying to make love, but are continually thrwarted.  Probably because they keep trying outside where people can see them. The only time we ever see the inside of her bedroom is when she walks in and there's a cow on her bed! I hate when that happens.

There is a fancy dinner, and they keep trying to get it on outside.  So many weird abstract things happen.  But alas, the man is dragged away from the woman again.  He goes into a room and relieves his pent-up desire and frustration by throwing things out the window.

After this, it inexplicably switches to a castle, where a giant orgy has been held. Then Jesus walks out.  I really can't say much about this film because it's very abstract. I know that the film makes fun of the stuffiness of organized religion and high society. It just does it in a really odd way. I will give this film a 6/10.

Un chien andalou (An Andalusian Dog) (1929)

I don't even know where to begin. There is nothing I can say that will explain this. I guess this is more of a surreal art piece than an actual film. Film will get a 6/10 for being a pretentious art piece. If I really wanted to see something of Dali's I'd rather drive over to Tampa to that museum of his than watch a movie. Honestly. Also they slice a lady's eyeball for no reason, there's ants coming out of people's hands, and that's gross.

Fellini Satyricon (1969)

This movie is based on the book Satyricon, one of the oldest books in existence. 
 It focuses on the misadventures of the friends Encolpio and Ascilto, which are often strange or sexual in nature. Actually everything in this movie is strange or sexual.  The original book was found in several fragments, so the movie is also presented in fragments. We're never really sure what is going to happen, but rest assured it will be strange. I did not like how the subtitles just vanished several times. It's hard enough to follow what is going on, at least let me see it in English. Also it takes a few sittings to get through, because if you try to watch a three hour semi-plotless fragmented movie in one try you will go crazy. Movie gets a 5/10.

Neco z Alenky (Alice) (1988)

Now I have officially seen every film adaptation of Alice in Wonderland that has ever been made. Some of them are okay, and some are terrible. This is Czech director Jan Svankmajer's version.

There's a lot of focus on dead animals, even in the beginning of the film. A dead stuffed rabbit in Alice's room springs to life, puts on some clothes, and hops away. Sawdust spills out of his chest, where he keeps his pocketwatch. Every time the white rabbit speaks, it's actually Alice narrating, and it shows a close up of her mouth and nothing else whenever she narrates.

The worse part is that when she shrinks, she somehow becomes a doll. This is the least scariest image I saw from the film. 

And what is it with all the drawers? And why can't Alice ever open them properly? For the most part, this film follows the book almost exactly. However, all of the scenery is dirty, rusty, and uninviting. And the animals aren't cuddly cute cartoons. They're either dead stuffed animals or skeletons.

Yes, weird, I know. This whole movie is entirely bizarre. The Caterpillar is a sock with eyeballs. I have no words.

However, I feel this is a superior version to the animated Disney movie. In Disney's Alice in Wonderland, they took both Alice in Wonderland and Alice's Adventures Through the Looking Glass, ripped the pages apart, and put them back in completely random order.  Also, the characters are colorful and have cute voices. This is not meant to be cute. It's about a girl trapped in a bizarre dreamland who is trying to make sense of anything.  This film should be disturbing, if done properly, and this film is by far the best conceptually. This gets an A+.

Meshes of the Afternoon (1943)

This short film uses clever camera angles and editing to provide the viewer with a sense of a dreamworld.  It's more of a surrealist art piece than a plot-driven movie.

Black Swan (2010)

A ballet thriller? Yes! The story is told from Nina's perspective. Nina, the daughter of a ballerina, is now a ballerina herself.  She is thrilled to get the part of the Swan Queen in the upcoming production of Swan Lake.  Her part is actually two - the white swan and the black swan.  She is flawless as the gentle white swan, but lacks the raw passion necessary to be the black swan.  As the stress of training for the two parts wears her out, she begins to have frightening hallucinations. For her, everything is real. It is up to us, the audience, to decide what is real and what is fantasy. Will Nina survive the mental strain of stardom?

Bonus points for special effects here. I am impressed.

2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)

I decided the first film I would write about would be the one in the most top lists, 35 to be exact.  But honestly, I can't see what is so great about this movie. Yes, it was a visual treat, but seemed to be just an exercise in showing off the latest special effects technology, which in 2013, isn't much.

The movie starts off with a black intro, in which I thought my laptop was malfunctioning again. So I skipped ahead to the monkey scene, which has nothing at all to do with space, but let's watch it anyway. Suddenly a giant black bar thing appears near the monkeys.  Will this bar be explained? No! Next scene jumps randomly to space!  The movie cover said it was supposed to be a "dramatic film transition". I didn't know they meant "random-ass jump".

But now we get to see space. After all it is a space odyssey.  There is a micro-plot here about an evil computer that kills people. No, not Glados, HAL 9000.  However, the scenes are completely devoid of emotion. Aside from the visual aspect, there is nothing to hold our attention.

After the evil-Hal episode ends, Dave, the guy that HAL famously refuses to open the doors for, flies towards Jupiter. Apparently landing on Jupiter involves a techno laser light show.  Then, Dave appears in a stately 18th century home.  I can't even begin to explain what happens in the next scenes, and I feel the only way to really grasp what's going on is to read the book.  But why would I sit through an almost 3 hour movie if you're going to make me read the book too?

Overall I will give it an A-, because although it's supposed to be the all-amazing film, there is hardly any  plot, nothing is explained, and the pace is slower than I-4 in the afternoon.