Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior (1981)

Today's film is Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior.  I didn't realize it was this old!  I reviewed the first movie, Mad Max, back in 2013, and the review can be found here.  If you missed the first film, the entire plot is summed up in the first three minutes of the second movie.  Max was a state trooper who lost his family.  Also, the world has been dealing with the aftermath of nuclear war, especially the need for gasoline.

If they needed gasoline so badly, why didn't they focus on alternative fuels?  Well, remember that the 70's people were facing a manufactured "oil shortage" and were desperate for gas.  This is just the extreme of that.  Also, it shows their logic.  Max is like, "gas is a scarce resource, better drive a V8". People weren't as environmentally minded as they are now, and we have much better technology (like hybrid and electric cars).

This movie is an awesome punk rock movie.  It was composed by Brian May!!  Also, all the bad guys dress like Oakland Raiders fans.  The good guys dress in lighter colors.  This movie is all punk rock and cars and danger and it's such a fun movie to watch.  I love how the characters are so unique and we don't know much of their back story.  They're all about the now, because the past, the world before the apocalypse, is gone.  I also like the feral child, who is unnamed.  He reminds me of my daughter, who doesn't talk but always gets done what needs to be done.  I will give this film a 8/10.

Big Hero 6 (2014)

Ever since Disney bought Marvel, I have been waiting for a Disneyesque Marvel animated feature and here it is!  My family loved this film.  It has everything we love about Disney movies and everything we love about Marvel movies.  Today's film is Big Hero 6.

The animation has come a really long way in the past ten years.  The human characters in this film look ten times better and more realistic than in The Incredibles.  Also, it's set in the fictional city of San Fransokyo (a combo of San Francisco and Tokyo) so if you watch it more than once (like if you have kids that insist on watching the same movie 100 times) have fun looking for famous buildings from both cities.  I found quite a few.

The story centers around two brothers, both geniuses in the robotics/engineering world.  One, Tadashi, is a college student who builds Baymax, a white inflatable robot nurse.  The younger one is Hiro (the hero of the story, you get it?) a fourteen-year-old who participates in illegal battlebot games.  Tadashi convinces Hiro to apply to college by taking him to his lab (once, he's not a hard sell) and meeting his friends and all their neat inventions.

Go Go is a tough girl who tells people to "Woman Up!" and works on a frictionless bike, and Honey Lemon is a Rapunzel look-alike (seriously look at her face.  Azalea had a phase where she watched Tangled several times a day.  I'd recognize that face anywhere.) who works with chemical reactions.  Wasabi (who is called that because he spilled wasabi one time) is a neat freak who works with lasers, and then there's Fred, who doesn't attend school, but loves science.

Hiro invents mind-controlled microbots to impress the college enough to let him attend.  The masked villain steals the microbots and Hiro, along with Baymax and his friends, track him down.  Also, Disney has finally graduated from killing off parents during children's movies because they died before the story even starts.  Hiro turns Baymax from a sweet healthbot into a fighting machine.

My favorite character is Fred, whose dream is to become a fire-breathing murloc.  Follow your dreams.  Also, Baymax is the real star of the movie.  He was programmed to treat pyshical ailments, but when Hiro is depressed, he downloads an entire database of depression and grief help just for him.  He unquestioningly follows him on his quest to turn him into a armor clad superhero, and only stops to prevent killing someone else.

The movie is funny and self-aware at times. "This is our origin story!", Fred cries.  He is also the one to realize they are being chased by a supervillain.  And, we get to watch their training as well.  They are not as good as they could be.  Since it's a Marvel film, we know the villain is going to open some portal (this time a Stargate-like teleporter) and they have to fight him to stop it.  And they succeed.  The animation is wonderful and is one of the best parts of the film.  The city looks beautiful and the people look real.  This film won best animated picture this year.  I will give it a 9/10.

The Nutty Professor (1963)

Last night Azalea was being really hyper and I just wanted her to go to bed.  So I decided to put on a bad movie so she would hear it but not be interested and fall asleep.  And it totally worked.  The movie I chose was The Nutty Professor.  No, no the one with Eddie Murphy being lots of different people.  The one with Jerry Lewis, who believes women can't be funny.  As if he's able to judge.  That would be like me judging a spelling bee.

If you know the story of Jekyll and Hyde, then you already know what is going to happen here.  Jerry Lewis plays Professor Kelp, a caricature of nerdy bumbling professors.  He also has bad teeth that stick out, a bad haircut, and is generally clumsy.  As usual, he keeps crossing his eyes.  I no longer believe this is used for comedy purposes and his eyes are just stuck that way.  Have you ever seen Mr. Deeds?  Steve Buscemi has a lazy eye for comedic effect.  And is that movie on the list?  Of course not.  I know this movie is on the list because it's old.  If a Jerry Lewis style film were to be made today, it would star Adam Sandler or Jim Carrey and the critics would hate it.  Yet several of their films are actually funny.  These kinds of films are the ones I'm not looking to learn anything, I just want to laugh. 

Dude look like SpongeBob Squarepants.  He falls in love with his student, Stella Purdy. (How did she get this name?  Because the actress's name is Stella and she's purdy.  Jerry Lewis is such a clever writer.)  He tries to get in shape which only perpetuates more stupid gags.  The worst is when he goes to the bowling alley without his glasses and bowls down a group of people.  Why is he not wearing glasses?  For that one gag?  That was stupid.

He creates a formula that turns him into Buddy Love, who is stylish for 1960s I guess?  He may be good looking, but he is horribly rude.  The main difference is their voices.  Professor SpongeBob has a nasally sounding voice, while Buddy's is smooth and dark.  When Buddy is singing, sometimes the Professor's voice will pop out.

Buddy is awful and has the attitude of a snowbird.  A snowbird is someone from up north who moves to Florida for the winter.  They are rude and awful.  They make fun of how stupid Southerners are and how great their state is.  It's worse when they officially move down here for good, because they still act the same!   I didn't see Buddy's behavior as over-the-top rude, like it probably was intended,  because this is what I experience every day.  The only thing Floridians hate more than sunburns and our bus system are snowbirds.  Except Paul, he's okay.

Professor Kelp can't control how long he will stay as Buddy, and he returns to normal at the most inopportune times.  At the end, he changes at the prom in front of everyone. (Yes, this is a university and they're having a prom.  Today they are known as formals.)  So he gives this speech about being yourself or whatever.  Then he marries his student.  That part I can't judge because my aunt and uncle are a student and professor who got married.  This movie was so bad.  I didn't like either character but of course he's going to get the hot blonde anyway.  Being an old film does not make it a good film.  I will give it a 4/10.

Things to Come (1936)

Today we watched Things to Come today.  It was awful.  It was made in the style of a grainy newsreel, everyone spoke in those awful 1930's newsreporter voices, and the whole thing was just an anti-war film disguised as a film about the future.  This was probably the wrong choice for Memorial Day, espeically with so many of my family being veterans.  We will give this a 4/10.

It starts off in the "future" of 1940 when war is threatened to last forever and destroy the world.  Everyone says that war will stop progress.  And it does.  The world all goes to chaos.  Plus, an epidemic of the "wandering sickness" spreads, but finally stops when all the infected people are shot dead.  Which totally makes sense because everyone knows you can't catch germs from a dead person.

Then comes the real future of past-2014, when we finally go to the moon.  They kind of underestimated our technological advances here.  Then there's a lot of preaching about progress and Azalea and I kind of tuned out.  Then it was over.

The main thing I hated was everyone had that 1930's newsreporter voices that boom.  Nobody talks like that, ever, not in a conversational way.  It really took away from the movie.  The whole thing felt like a giant newsreel, and it only focused on the negative parts of the future.  So we decided to think about positive things that exist instead:

• More vaccines that can save lives.
• Microwaves to heat up noodles
• Crocs because they're comfy and people give us weird looks when we wear them and we don't care
• Cameraphones - Are they camera or phone?  They are both!
• Toasters.
• Publix - where shopping is a pleasure - possibly the best grocery store
• balloons
• air conditioning
• The internet that contains several lifetimes worth of knowledge yet I mostly use it to play games. The internet is also where we can make or watch educational or informational videos.  We're trying to make a video, but it's not going too well.
• Poptarts
• Pullups because they really help with toilet training - when she keeps all her clothes on, that is
• there's so much more we can think about, but it's almost 11 so we'll stop for now.

Ghost in the Shell (Kôkaku Kidôtai) (1995)

Today's film is Ghost in the Shell.  Think of it as a film that not only has robots, but has some deep philosophical thoughts.  This month I have focused on films that I have never seen before, but I have watched the Ghost in the Shell anime series, plus the Stand Alone Complex series, so I am very familiar with Major's character.

Major Motoko is a cyborg cop, who along with her mostly human partner, Bateau, is searching for a powerful hacker known as the Puppet Master.  The term "Ghost in the Shell" refers to a human spirit or conscience that resides in a robot's body or brain. It alludes to the Ghost in the Machine, a book written by Arthur Koestler and is way too complicated to write about here.

 Major wonders just how human she is.  She knows that she has emotions, imagination, and memories, but how much of that makes her a human.  Bateau is mostly human with cybernetic eyes.  How much of a cyborg needs to be actual human in order to make them a full person? 

The puppet master manipulates different cyborgs and gives them false memories.  One victim believes he has a wife and daughter, but he has been a bachelor for years.  He has to have his memory restored, but since they don't yet have the technology to fully restore, he may have the false memories of his "daughter" for the rest of his life.

A lot of the scenes are Major being naked, because that's how she uses her cloaking technology.  Everyone else uses a cloaking jacket. Cause that makes sense.  Pretty much every other scene is robot nipples. 

The universe of this movie looks just like our present, the only difference is that a lot of people have cybernetic parts.  Even the guns are the same as the present.  You would think with all this robot stuff, they would have laser guns or something.  Major and Bateau work for Section 9, a special group of cops that have the best technology available.  They find out the Puppet Master is not a person at all, but some ghost created by Section 6 that can infiltrate any network.  Going from network to network, it eventually became self-aware.  Major becomes obsessed with getting to know the ghost of this Puppet Master, to the extent of destroying her cyborg body and messing up her own mind.  But what does she gain from it? 

This movie was beautifully animated, from long panoramic scenes to realistic human movements.  It is a very well done anime.  I will give it an 8/10

Metropolis (1927)

Today's film is Metropolis. It is one of the best science fiction films I have ever seen.  It is also eerily prophetic, especially here in America.  Even though we're not as bad as some countries, there is still a sharp divide between the lower and upper classes, and the middle class is becoming extinct.

In the world of Metropolis, the city planners and the rest of the upper class live in a beautiful garden utopia on the surface.  The lower class, known as the "workers" run the machines underground that power the city.  The workers live deep underground, below the machines.  Some of them, especially the children, have probably never seen sunlight.

Freder, the son of the city's mastermind, sees a woman surrounded by children and follows her deep underground.  He has never seen this part of the city before and had no idea what the workers have to go through in order to keep the above-land comfortable.  The woman is Maria and she is sort of a preacher/prophet that believes that there needs to be a mediator between the workers and the city planners.  She says the brains of the city and the hands that work needs a heart to come between them.

Meanwhile, Freder's dad, Joh Frederson is working with Rotwang, an inventor.  Rotwang looks like an angry Beethoven and he is building a robot that never tires or makes a mistake.  Frederson tells angry Beethoven to make the robot look just like Maria, so she can stir discord among the workers.  Then, they capture Maria and lock her up.

Rotwang's invention is successful and Maria-bot convinces the workers to destroy the machines.  Both Maria and her robot double were played by Brigitte Helm, and she does an awesome job portraying the two different personalities.  A lot of the acting is bad silent film over-acting, but that's all silent films so it's okay. 

So since Maria-bot got all the workers to destroy the machines, all of the underground areas start flooding!  Especially the worker's underground city!  The real Maria escapes and rescues all the children trapped in the city.  Meanwhile, the workers tie up Maria-bot and burn her at the stake like a witch.  This shows that in times of panic, lots of people will turn to superstition.  But the real Maria saves the day and meets up with Freder, who kisses her.  Freder now can act like the heart, or mediator, between the working class and the city planners.  And they lived happily ever after.

I didn't understand the skeleton playing the flute, the seven sins or stuff like that.  This film didn't need all of those abstract things in there.  I felt it took away from the movie.  Other than that, the movie was great.  I will give it a 9/10.

The Fly (1958)

Today's film is The Fly.  It is so amazingly terrible.  This is one of the few movies in which the remake is far superior.  I think it's because the remake focuses on the scientist's point of view (the one who transforms into a fly) and this movie does not.

In this film, the scientist is dead, being squashed in a hydraulic press.  His wife confesses to killing him, but won't say why.  She also seems obsessed with flies, including a white-headed fly.  The scientist's brother lies and says he caught the fly, so she tells him what happened.

The scientist, Andre is working on a matter transporter called a disintegrator-integrator, which truly sounds like it was named by Dr. Doofenshmirtz.  Actually, I looked through his inventions and it turns out he did create a "disintegrator-inator" as part of his fitness lock-inators in the two-part episode "Where's Perry?"

Behold! My disintegrator-inator!

While he is in this disintegrator-inator, a fly gets in there with him.  So their genes mixed and now he has a giant fly head and one fly arm.  But, he keeps his mind so he can write notes to communicate.  That doesn't make any kind of sense.  If they switched heads, how could he keep his mind?  And when they finally find the fly with the human head, he speaks!  So both heads kept a human mind?  Where did the fly mind go?  Do flies have brains?  I really don't know.  The more I think about this, the more frustrated I get, like with a Rubiks cube.

So, anyway, the fly-scientist dies and everyone else lives happily ever after.  I can't say I benefited from watching this film.  I will give it a 4/10.

Blade Runner (1982)

Today's film is Blade Runner.  It was based on the novel Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? by Philip K. Dick.  I thoroughly enjoyed this movie, mainly because of Harrison Ford's excellent acting and him being shirtless part of the time.  The setting is a dark, cyberpunk future that doesn't focus much on technology except for the fact that replicants exist as slaves on distant planets.  "Replicants" are what this film calls "androids" or humanoid robots.  They look exactly like humans, but have no emotions, have super strength, and have a limited lifespan of 4 years.

Replicants are dangerous, so they are not allowed on Earth.  If they come, they are hunted down by special cops called Blade Runners.  An especially skilled one named Deckard is called out of retirement to take care of a group of replicants that have stolen a ship to come to Earth to meet their creator.  Even though in the book Deckard is definitely not a replicant, everything in this movie seems to indicate he is.  He even has the same red flash in his eyes when talking to Rachael, another replicant.  She doesn't even know she is one, at least not until he gives her a special test to check her emotions.  So if Deckard is a replicant, then he probably doesn't know he is one either.

The movie culminates in a rainy fight between Deckard and the stronger Roy.  Both actors agree that Ridley Scott's assertion that Deckard is a replicant takes away from this fight.  Instead of it being a fight of man over machine, it just turns into a fight between two androids.  That's it.  So in this sense, one could say that Deckard has to be a human.  Also, it would be difficult but not impossible for Rachael to form any relationship with Deckard if she really doesn't have any emotions.

 In some ways, the replicants are more alive than Deckard is, who only exists to do his job, one he tried to retire from in the first place.  The replicants, led by Roy Batty (played by Rutger Hauer), are on a mission to visit their creator to extend their lifespans.  Roy's lifespan is almost up and he is not ready to die yet.  The creator tries to explain that they can't extend the lifespan and have tried several times.   Roy responds by killing him by smashing his face with his bare hands.  So this movie explores themes of creators being destroyed by what they have created, slavery and freedom, and what it means to be human.  I will give this film an 8/10.

Videodrome (1983)

The early 1980's were a simpler time.

Today, if I wanted to see pictures of blood splatter (of which I do have a proclivity towards) or gore, I could simply go to a variety of specialized websites.  Some people enjoy watching videos containing violence, whether real or obviously faked.  Some also enjoy playing violent or scary video games or listening to heavy metal.  And the thing is, we are not violent people.  

Some people get out their frustrations from the day by playing a violent video game.  I have had Autism my entire life, so my mind travels in different directions a mile a minute, so I listen to heavy metal at night so I can start to calm down.  My co-film critic and I like to dance and wear ourselves out before we go to bed.

But what about the 1980's?  There weren't many video games except like Pong or something.  Even early games like Mortal Kombat didn't come out until the 1990's.  There was no liveleak or youtube or anywhere to find short videos.  There were no phones that sent pictures.  There were no websites to browse through pictures.  Where am I supposed to find my blood pictures?  Come on!

That's where Videodrome comes in.  Videodrome is the new wave of violent TV.  It was accidentally discovered by a TV producer, Max Renn, who runs a station in Toronto.  Now, I've never been up north so I don't know much about Canada.  In fact, these pictures illustrate what I know about Canada:

So, Max decides to learn more about this Videodrome show and goes to a charity that helps homeless people watch TV (I'm not asking) and finds Brian O'blivion, who has recorded everything onto videocassettes.  Brian's daughter, Bianca explains about Videodrome and warns him that it is dangerous.  Max's girlfriend, Nicki, is turned on sexually by violence and wants to participate on an episode.  Unfortunately, I had to see James Wood's butt and I was not prepared for that.

I noticed that everyone's name is symbolic.  The main character is Max Renn (German for Run), Nicki Brand,  Convex, O'Blivion.  Their names made more sense as the movie went on.

This is a movie that I would really love to see updated with modern technology.  Remember this was made before reality shows and the movie The Matrix.  In that film, people use a smallish plug in the back of their heads to hook up to the matrix.  Poor Max has to use a giant tear in his abdomen to insert a videocassette.  Instead of Brian being split up into thousands of videocassettes, he would be a supercomputer, a transcended being who could answer Max's questions in real time and who could have explained Videodrome easier.

Max learns the makers of Videodrome are evil and are going to use their program to infect other people.  So he uses the gun he keeps in the tear of his abs to find the main producer and kill him.  We see that Videodrome really is some kind of virus and could infect anyone.  The way his body explodes like that is just awesome.  Then, Max runs away to an abandoned boat and finds Nicki inside a TV screen.  Should Max end his life and transcend into the "new flesh"?  How much of what has happened to him been a hallucination?   We may never know.  I will give this film a 9/10.

Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959)

Today's film is Plan 9 from Outer Space.  It has the distinction of being the worst film ever made.  Because of this fact, it can be a guilty pleasure for some to watch and laugh at.  And it's not that it's so bad that it's good, it's just bad.

This looks more like a Soviet propaganda
poster than a movie poster.

First of all, the plot is here and everywhere.  Aliens, who look exactly like humans but wear shimmery clothes, come to destroy the Earth to prevent us from building some kind of sun-bomb.  They decide to implement Plan 9 in order to do this.  Plan 9 involves taking the recently deceased and turning them into zombie/vampires.  I can't tell if their zombies or vampires.  They certainly look like vampires, especially Vampira, who doesn't say anything, just walks slowly and menacingly.  The actress Vampira refused to say any lines because she thought the dialogue was atrocious.  That's a question I have for the filmmakers: If your own actress thinks the dialogue is so bad she can't even say it, then why would you think anyone would enjoy it? Also, the time of day changes constantly.  In one scene, it'll go from night to day to night for no reason.

The other vampire I see is Count Dracula, or Bela Lugosi, who I think either can't get over the fame he had as playing Dracula or doesn't want to.  He slow walking (acting exactly like Dracula) is really misplaced in this film.  Also, thanks to watching Ed Wood (a biopic on the director), I learned that Bela Lugosi died during the filming and was poorly replaced, which is why he's covered by his cape half the time.  I really have a greater appreciation for this film after watching Ed Wood.  Not that I like it any better, I just know more about the actors playing in this film and what they thought.   The only character that reminds me of a zombie was Tor Johnson, just because he's too big to be a vampire.

Since this was plan 9, what were the other plans?  Did they seriously try 8 other plans to destroy or invade Earth and fail, and this was their new best plan?  Do they come from the same planet as Invader Zim?

Even if Ed Wood wasn't the worst director ever, he certainly was the worst writer ever.  My favorite line in the movie is "Future events such as these will affect you in the future".  Did he not have anyone else to proofread this?  Then, the colonel says, "Then they attacked a town, a small town I'll admit.  But nevertheless a town of people.  People who died."  This sounds like a third grader trying to write a book report.  Then, the reason why the transmission is cut short is because "atmospheric conditions in outer space often interfere with transmitting".  This is how I feel about that:

There can be no atmospheric condition in outer space because there is no atmosphere! *throws table*

This whole film made me want to throw a table.  I'm going to give it a 3/10.

Children of Men (2006)

Today's film is Children of Men.  It shows a sadly realistic portrayal of a future world.  No spaceships, laser guns, or anything futuristic technology-wise, just a sad, crumbling planet thanks to our actions.  In this film, it's been about 18 years since the last baby was born.  The movie's not concerned with why women can't have babies, they just can't.

Clive Owen plays Theo, a one-time activist who grew up and got a job.  He is asked by his fellow activists, including his ex-wife, to get papers and help transport a young woman named Kee.  Kee is pregnant and needs to go to the Human Project, a group of scientists dedicated to fixing the fertility problem.  The activists, known as Fishes, want to use the baby as a pawn in their political scheme, and the government, well the government just sucks.  So Theo and Kee are trapped in the middle.  However, they do get lots of help from many people who want to make sure that Kee and her baby are safe.

Michael Caine was my favorite part of the movie.

This film is not so much a film about a dystopian future as it is a commentary on our modern society.  The film takes place in England but much of what we see is more about America.  We have a huge mistrust, almost hatred, of immigrants, yet we are a country founded on immigrants.  When Theo and Kee go through the first part of the refugee camp, we see the immigrants hooded and caged.  These people are in the exact same poses as the prisoners in the Abu Ghraib prison.  Also, I noticed the floating pig from that Pink Floyd album.

Something else I noticed was the impending danger associated with oranges.  Someone peels an orange in the car, and Theo's ex-wife is killed.  His pot-growing friend, Theo, has an orange right before the rebels kill him.  In the refugee camp, the gypsies share an orange with Kee and her baby, right before they have to run out into all that violence.  Every time we see an orange, someone gets killed.  This also happened in The Godfather.

I think the ending of this film is upbeat and positive.  Yes, Theo dies, but he has to.  He represents the dying out of a diseased generation, while Kee is the new generation that starts over.  She gets to start over fresh with her new baby.  And, the boat that comes to pick them up is named "Tomorrow".  That says a lot to me.  As the picture fades out, we hear the laughter of children, signifying that more children will be born and the world will be saved.  I will give this film a 7/10.

Total Recall (1990)

Today's film is Total Recall.  I remember watching this on TV quite a few times as a child, but never really grasped what was going on.  Turns out it is a lot more mindbending than I had anticipated.

Governator Schwarzenegger plays Doug Quaid, a construction worker that decides to go on a virtual vacation.  Something goes wrong and he finds out that he is a secret agent that is supposed to go to Mars and that he has a vital secret.  Is what is happening an elaborate dream and is his body still at the Recall vacation place?  Or is he key to saving Mars?

Super Towel Man here to save Mars

Doug's original name before he got his memory changed is Hauser.  Hauser was a bad guy working for Cohaagen, the main man on Mars, but switched sides when he discovered his secret.  Was Hauser's memory erased so he would forget the secret?  Or did Hauser really do it to himself so he could fool the psychics and infiltrate the rebel gang?  Doug declares that he is not Hauser anymore, but was he ever Hauser?  Or did losing his memory change his demeanor?  There have been victims of brain damage that have changed personality.  It makes me wonder that if damage to your brain can change your personality or consciousness, which I have seen firsthand, does that negate the existence of the soul?  We were taught in school that souls were our consciousness, but if something as simple as a knock on the head (or a memory cap like in this film) can change that, was it ever there to begin with?

That's what the film made me think.  Besides the mindbending parts, there is the usual action that accompanies Schwarzenegger films.  I enjoyed the fight scenes, and even the women are great fighters.  The makeup was also great.  Many of the characters were mutants and they had to look believable.  Yes, I did not forget the lady with three boobs.  This film is so much fun.  I will give it an 8/10.

No damsels in distress in this film!

Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988)

When I saw the title for this film, I felt like this:

So I had to watch the film.  It's campy, and it knows exactly how silly it is.  Aliens in a Big Top circus tent shaped spaceship crashland in the woods near a town that apparently only has two police officers.  The aliens kill humans, wrap them in cotton candy cocoons, and drink their blood through crazy straws.  I was laughing the whole movie.  It is outrageous.  I will give this film a 5/10.

Unfortunately, many lives were lost because out of the two police officers, only one is helpful. His name is Dave. The other cop is rude and useless when it comes to helping.  He must be based on Florida cops.  Dave figures out that if you pop their noses, they'll explode.  The Clowns (or Klowns I guess) also throw popcorn everywhere.  I think the popcorn might be their eggs or something, because weird clown-faced creatures emerge from them.

Even though this movie isn't scary, the characters of the clowns can be considered scary.  There was a survey done in 2008 that proved that clowns were "universally dislike" by kids of varying ages.  I would have hated to have been a part of that study.  I think it's because their heavy makeup hides their true face, and without seeing facial expressions, it's hard to trust someone.  This lack of trust and the unfamiliarity of this person and what they really might be translates into fear.  My husband said he was surprised that I watched a film with scary clowns in it.  I told him that those clowns weren't scary, but this clown is, and showed him this picture:

I have no idea why he won't watch horror films with me.

District 9 (2009)

Today's film comes to us from South Africa.  It's District 9  and it is mostly awesome.  It took me a few tries to get through the first half of it.  The first part is presented documentary style.

Aliens have landed in South Africa, and are rounded up by the humans and placed in government housing.  And we all know how nice those are.  In the documentary portion, we see the main character, Wikus Van De Merwe, as he and the other humans mistreat the aliens, known as prawns.  They even stomp and kill their eggs.  They have no respect for them. Throughout the film, we see how the prawns and humans interact with each other and it is apparent that this film is a thinly veiled metaphor for apartheid.  

How can the humans and aliens understand each other if they can't speak each other's languages?  Because, the aliens have been on Earth for 30 years.  Even though we can't replicate their clicking noises, and they apparently can't form words,  30 years is more than enough time to understand someone's language.

Later, Wikus touches a prawn's weapon and his arm starts turning into a prawn's arm!  How does touching an alien's weapon turn you into an alien?  That makes no kind of sense!!  I know that Wikus's transformation is central to the plot, but it does throw me off a bit.  It allows him to emphasize with the oppressed prawns and generally become a better person.

All of the action happens as we watch Wikus try to escape the South African government, who want to use him for experiments for their weapons, and the evil Nigerian thugs.  Ironically, his best allies turn out to be the prawns, the very people that he scorned earlier.

This movie is fast paced, full of action, and provides a glimpse of life in South Africa, even though it's sci-fi'ed up a lot.  I thoroughly enjoyed watching this movie.  It also had a nice mixture of special effects and CGI.  I will give it an 8/10.

Star Trek Into Darkness (2013)

Today's film is Star Dark Into Darkness, which is a glossy high-tech retelling of the Wrath of Khan and Space Seed, the Star Trek episode.  I'm giving it a 6/10.

So as we learned from Star Trek, the timeline changed so new characters and experiences can emerge.  Therefore, I was highly disappointed to see a remake of Wrath of Khan.  I don't care how high tech it is, or how much cgi they use.  I actually got bored in some parts, especially parts that seemed to be all action and no plot (or maybe too much plot).

I also learned that my husband has never seen the original Star Trek series and I plan to rectify that immediately.  It's on Netflix instant right now if you want to watch it too.  Replacing Ricardo Montalban as Khan is Benedict Cumberbatch, a blond guy with a super deep voice that I can't understand Anything he says. Anything.  My husband was so lost watching this film, and I filled him in with details from the two sources (the original movie and episode).  A lot of it seems based on the episode more than the first movie.  Trust me, if I hadn't seen them, I would have been super lost as well.  Honestly, this is the crapola we get from a director that claimed that Star Trek was "too philosophical for me".

Back to the Future (1985)

Today's film is Back to the Future.  Yes, this really is my first time watching this film.  I don't know why I put off watching it for so long.  I read every book about time travel (and the physics behind it) that I find.  So I'm very excited to watch a movie that deals with time travel.

Marty, played by Michael J. Fox, is a teenager who is friends with a kooky scientist, Dr. Emmett Brown (played by Christopher Lloyd).  Doc has built a time machine out of a DeLorean, and inside is a flux capacitor  which is what makes the whole time machine work.  The machine runs on plutonium, which Doc has bought from the Libyans.  Once the DeLorean reaches 88 mph, the time machine activates and sends the driver through time.  Or, at least that's how I understood it.  Doc sets the year, but before he can do anything else, the Libyans arrive and shoot him!  Marty drives away to escape and activates the time machine and ends up in the 1950s, when his parents were his age.

Now, we've already seen Marty's parents.  His dad is a very timid man, while his mom is prim and proper.  Marty's arrival prevents them from meeting so he has to do everything he can to make sure they meet and fall in love, or else he won't exist!  When Marty meets the teenage Mom, she is not proper at all, in fact she is very flirtatious which is all kinds of funny and awkward because it's his mom.  How will he get his parents to meet?  And how will he return to the future?

Marty finds the younger version of Doc and shows him the time machine.  However, he doesn't have the stuff necessary to make the machine run.  What they need is a strong jolt of power - like a bolt of lightning.  Luckily, there was a famous bolt of lightning that destroyed the clock tower.  And it just so happens to have occurred close to the same time as when Marty arrived, so he won't be stuck forever.  How's that for ultra convenience?

This film is comical, and full of suspense at times, too.  Will Marty reach the bolt of lightning in time or will he be stuck forever?  Will he get his parents to meet and fall in love?  Will his visit to the past alter his family's destiny as well, and will it be for the better?  Of course, all of the answers are yes. It's a comedy.  It's also a great film to watch with children.  I will give it an 8/10.  Also, the mall where they meet to go back in time is called "Twin Pines Mall".  When Marty goes back in time, he runs over a pine tree, and when he returns to the future, the mall is now called "Lone Pine Mall".  It's little details like that that I love.

Independence Day (1996)

Today's movie is Independence Day.  Watching this movie today has been a family tradition for 16 years.  I'd like to share that tradition with you by providing this review.  In addition to this, I also watched a making of documentary which was very informative.  They used tiny buildings in miniature towns.  I loved seeing how they made all the special effects.

Plot:  Aliens have come to destroy the world because they want to use up all our natural resources. Resources, you know, like oil?  We can't let them take our planet's oil; that belongs to America!

Throughout the film, we see various people cope with the alien's destruction and travel to find safe haven.  Eventually, they end up at Area 51, which for a super secret base in the middle of the desert, is super easy to find.  Notable characters include Captain Steven Hiller, played by Will Smith, and David, played by Jeff Goldblum.  The combination of these actors makes this a very entertaining movie.

There are several mistakes and scenes that make me say "what?!".  For example, David claims he can 'triangulate' Connie's location inside the White House and proceeds to set only one antenna.  Also, in the scenes set in Area 51, the beautiful white desert could only be the Bonneville Salt Flats in Utah, while Area 51 should be in Nevada where the film claims it is.  Also, in the beginning where the ships are passing over the moon: the American flag should be all white by now because there's nothing to protect it from the sun's rays, and the footprints would not be destroyed by vibrations because the moon's atmosphere is too thin to allow them.  I could actually write a book about how many mistakes there are.

The entire world is saved thanks to the efforts of the United States of America.  Why? Because America is great and this is a movie about our Independence Day.  When the aliens take control and block out the satellites, what do we do?  All of the world sends messages to each other using Morse Code, which was invented in America!  When David is demonstrating the alien ship's forcefield, he uses a Coke can - which was made in America.  And he creates the virus using an American laptop, even though I had no idea one could write a virus program using an Apple.  

And speaking of the ship's forcefield, how convenient was it that out of the millions of possible life forms in the universe, we happen to have the exact kind of spaceship the evil aliens have?  Holy coincidences Batman! It is also lucky that all Marines are skilled in flying spaceships or else we'd have no one to fly the thing.  And let's forget all about the scientists who have dedicated their lives to studying extraterrestrial beings and equipment and stick Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum on the ship, because fuck it, it'll be funnier.

With all its mistakes, the movie is a fun one to watch. Most years we watched the 'quick' version because my mom would fast forward to the explosion scenes because "talking is boring".  I will give this an 8/10 and now return to my beer and watermelon because today is our Independence Day.

Frankenstein (1910)

A quick look at Wikipedia tells me that there are 63 films based on the story Frankenstein. That's a lot! Today I'm watching the very first film adaptation.

It says at the beginning of the film that it is a liberal adaptation. And I actually liked that.  Films don't necessarily have to be exactly like the book. With this being the first Frankenstein film ever made, I was kind of surprised they took so many liberties.  When I think of Frankenstein, I think of a steampunk laboratory in a scary castle, with lightning flashing. (Remember that the name Frankenstein refers to the scientist, not the monster! I keep forgetting that.)

Instead of sewing up decaying body parts for his monster, Dr. Frankenstein creates a very scientific potion and tosses into a tub. From that, the body grows, like a plant.  It may look silly now, but the effect of the monster being created is commendable for 1910.

The monster is grotesque and stalks Dr. Frankenstein and his wife.  But then, he looks in the mirror and realizes what a monster he is. So he vanishes! But, his reflection remains. This is possible because mirrors are actually portals into other time dimensions (if we're following the multiverse theory). So the monster goes to a dimension where he'll be more accepted.

Dr. Frankenstein sees the monster as a reflection in the mirror. So, we see that the monster he created was an extension of the evil in his mind. And when it vanished, the evil in his mind vanished too. I'm giving this film a 6/10.

The Empire Strikes Back (1980)

This movie does not simply take us through outer space. We get to experience the harsh winter of Hoth, the swamp jungle of the Dagobah system, and even journey to a city in the clouds.

I was lucky in that I got to see the re-release on the big screen.  The beginning scenes on Hoth were excellent. The empire comes to fight them on the rebel's snowy base and there's lots of explosions and fighting (x-wing fighters vs. the at-ats).  But, the rebels have to leave because its no longer safe.

I never saw the point of Yoda other than to reiterate the fact that they're in space so there has to be space aliens. In the first movie, we saw aliens in the bar, but Yoda is different.  He is a Jedi (and until the prequels the only alien Jedi that I noticed) and a scholar.  He has been training Jedis for 800 years. He trains Luke to harness the force. He also has a weird backward way of talking.

Han catches up with his old friend Lando in Cloud City.  But Lando is going to betray them! When Han sees Darth Vader in the other room, he immediately starts firing at him. No questions, no long story, he just springs to action. He is so awesome. This post needs a picture of him. When Han is being dragged away to be frozen in carbonite, Leia cries out that she loves him. Originally, George Lucas wrote in the script that Han was to reply that he loved her too, but no one thought that matched his character. That's why he simply says, "I know."

There we go.

Vader is wanting to take Luke to the Emperor. So there's someone higher up than Lord Vader? Well of course, he's just a lord. I always thought that even when I was watching the first movie. If he was the highest one in command, he'd be called like Emperor Vader, not Lord Vader. And then, Luke comes and fights Darth Vader.  They have an epic light saber duel which will ultimately lead them to a stunning revelation.

Behind the scenes photo from the film.

There are several hints at Luke and Leia's true relationship.  Such as when Yoda says, "There is another." And they have this kind of "twin telepathy" thing going on.  When everyone's leaving Cloud City, Leia tells them to turn back because she knows where Luke is and they go right to where he has fallen down at the bottom of Cloud City.  Vader only knows about Luke (I'll discuss how he finds out about his daughter in the next film). Of course, he wasn't there for their birth during the prequel because he's a whiny jerk who abandoned them.  But when the Emperor tells him the dangers of the son of Skywalker, he insists that he can turn him so he won't become a Jedi. He even tells Luke that he wants them to rule the galaxy together. And he orders Boba Fett not to disintegrate anything because he wants everyone on the Millennium Falcon alive.

I'm giving this film an 8/10.

Star Wars (1977)

It is May 4th! May the Fourth be with you!  Or, in other words, today is Star Wars Day and I hope you are enjoying this most glorious of holidays.

This is truly a fairytale set in space. An unassuming farm boy goes on a daring mission to rescue a princess from an evil lord, and then goes on to save the whole galaxy. My daughter enjoys the fairytale aspects of it, and of course I love anything sci-fi.

The thing I have a problem with is the fact that there is supposed to be no sound in space. However, we hear the sounds of the ships themselves and the weapons firing quite often.  It works because our minds are so used to matching the sounds with the image, that if it were accurate and had the space battles in complete silence, it would feel really weird.

The technology used for this film was amazing.  They didn't have the same computers and high-tech equipment we have today. They managed to have talking robots, spaceships, x-wing fighters (my favorite in the movie) and a really really huge moon. Wait, that's no moon. It must be a space station. Outstanding!

I also love the chemistry between the three main actors, Harrison Ford (Han Solo), Mark Hamill (Luke), and Carrie Fisher (Princess Leia). I don't think that this movie or the others to follow would have been nearly as good if it weren't for them. Both Luke and Leia are strong-willed and are determined to get their way, and Han is the very very handsome and lovable scoundrel.

At one point, Han boasts that he made the Kessel Run in only 12 parsecs, a daring feat for a pilot. Wait, aren't parsecs a measure of distance, not time? Did Han misspeak? No, actually, he's telling the truth. (He's probably exaggerating a bit though.)  If you read any of the books, you'll find the Kessel Run is 18 parsecs in length, because it goes around The Maw, a cluster of black holes. Most pilots avoid this area. However, Han flew as close as possible, narrowly avoiding the black holes, in order to reach his destination (and guarantee the authorities wouldn't follow him). He's not bragging about his speed; he's bragging about his ability as a pilot and his ship's maneuvering capabilities.

Star Wars is a great film whose technology paved the way for many other science fiction films. I will give it a 9/10.