Finding Dory (2016)

I finally got to see Finding Dory in the theater!  I am excited.  I really liked the movie Finding Nemo, I thought it was colorful and full of heart.  Dory is my favorite character.

Finding Dory expects you to have already seen the first movie.  They don't bother to re-introduce the characters, it just launches straight into Dory's quest to find her parents.  Dory has short term memory loss, and after years of being away from her parents, starts to remember things about her past.

Her parents lived at the Marine Life Institute in California, which is a really long way from Australia. Dory, Marlin and Nemo all hitch a ride on the sea turtles on the EAC.  There's no plot at all between the two places, all the action takes place in California.  My husband thought the fact that the stupid sea lion was named Gerald was hilarious.  That's his half-brother's name.

I've never been to the Marine Life Institute in California, but I have been to the Georgia Aquarium which looked almost exactly the same.  So in terms of aquariums it did look realistic.  They introduced a new character, a grumpy octopus named Hank who wishes to return to the ocean. He's mainly a way for Dory to travel across the land without having to swim everywhere.

A lot of the movie is really far-fetched.  I mean, the first movie involved them rescuing a fish out of a dentist's office, so we can only go up from there.  There's an octopus driving a truck; it's chaos.  The movie is a lot crazier than the first one.  I will give this film a 7/10.

The Jungle Book (1967)

So I figured since I reviewed the live action version last month, I really should review the original Disney version of The Jungle Book.  You can read the review of the 2016 version here.  I actually like the newer version better.

I had the great fortune to watch The Jungle Book in the theaters when it was re-released in the early 90's.  It was originally made in 1967 and was one of the last films approved by Walt Disney himself.  This film is especially rare since the earlier ones focused on princesses more, and there are almost no female characters in this.

The whole film feels a bit rushed.  They also tried to cram too many songs in there.  All anyone ever remembers are Baloo and King Louie's songs so it's not like it matters.  My husband asked me why the vultures looked like the Beatles.  They didn't have the vultures in the live action film, and obviously their song was cut.  They actually were based on the Beatles because the filmmakers wanted them to voice them, but it didn't work out.  I think it would have been hilarious if they actually did.  That makes me think, what is the difference between vultures and buzzards? I really don't know.

The character of Mowgli is also a lot different.  The live action one makes all these inventions, which show off his human cunning and intuition whereas cartoon Mowgli doesn't do this.  The cartoon character also seems a lot younger and more immature.  Live action Mowgli chooses to leave the pack of his own volition in order to protect them from Shere Khan.  The cartoon one simply gets kicked out and doesn't understand.

My daughter really loved Shere Khan.  When he appeared on screen, she would jump out of her seat and yell,  Tiger! Tiger!!! RAWRRR!   I believe this is because my husband and I both went to Auburn and are huge Auburn Tigers fans.  We have tiger stuff all over our house and love tigers.  So Azalea simply can't see a tiger as a villain.

Overall, this isn't the best Disney film, but there are some good songs and it's great to watch with kids.  I will give it a 6/10.

Hotel Transylvania (2012)

Today is the first day of October! I celebrated by eating the first pumpkin muffin of the season. Today we are watching Hotel Transylvania, which until the constant ads for Hotel Transylvania 2, I honestly didn't know existed. But we need to watch the first one in order to appreciate the second.

This film is very family friendly. It is especially good if you have already seen any classic horror films with your children. The monsters are all voiced by top billing comedians such as Adam Sandler, Andy Samberg, Kevin James, Molly Shannon and many others. There are so many stars in this film. The monsters are Dracula, Frankenstein's monster, Werewolf man, and The Mummy. There are many others in bit parts that add to the fun.

Dracula (voiced by Adam Sandler) builds a hotel as a monster's safe haven from scary humans. He does this by request of his late wife in order to protect their daughter, Mavis (voiced by Selena Gomez). Fast forward to her 118th birthday (which is 18 in monster years apparently) and Mavis is itching to see the world beyond the hotel. Dracula goes to great lengths to prevent this, until a human stumbles onto the hotel.

Obviously it's love at first sight for Mavis and the human, Johnathon, who Dracula quickly disguises as a monster.  Dracula is unable to hypnotize Johnathon into forgetting about the hotel and Mavis and leaving, because he is wearing contacts.  However, Dracula has no problem hypnotizing the airline pilots through a thick glass windshield.   Mavis is most intrigued by Johnathon's lifestyle as an adventurous backpacker, which is the polar opposite of her.  Dracula forces him to leave, but later teams up with the rest of the monsters to get him back.  

There are a lot of one-liners and lots of visual action, which is great for kids.  It may not be a princess movie, but with so much going on, they won't even care.  I will give this film a 7/10.

Inside Out (2015)

Today's film is Inside Out!  I actually watched this a while ago, but am posting it now.  Mainly because every time I hear the term Inside out, I think of the song by Diana Ross. "Upside down, boy you turn me, inside out, and round and round".  So I figured posting would get the song out of my head.  The movie is a look at what goes on inside people's heads and personifies everything.  We specifically are looking at the mind of 11-year-old Riley.

I really enjoyed this movie, because a lot of times I watch a Disney (or Pixar) film and I think, I really wish there was more Lewis Black in this.  And now I finally get my wish!  He plays Anger, and doesn't need to act because he's just himself and he's awesome.  The "leader" emotion is Joy, who is played by Amy Poehler.  There are so many celebrities voicing characters in this movie.  One of my favorites is Disgust! She's played by Mindy Kaling and her job is to protect Riley from disgusting things, like broccoli.

Riley is an only child growing up in Minnesota.  She has lots of friends, and is a natural at playing hockey.  Her parents start a new business venture and they all move to San Francisco.  This is a huge culture shock for Riley, and she tries to handle it the best she can.  The emotion Sadness starts to touch her core memories, making her sad.  Joy, the leader, does not ever want to upset Riley and tries her hardest to silence Sadness.  Through a series of events, Joy begins to realize that Riley needs Sadness.  She needs to be able to miss her friends and old way of life so she can grow and begin a new chapter in a new place.

There's a lot of gags and adult jokes that are fun to look for.  Also, they show other people's minds too, and that's pretty funny.  As the emotions learn to work better together, they see that Riley's thoughts and memories become more mature.  As she turns 12, they build new control panel to handle all these changes including a switch for "puberty".  Joy doesn't worry about this because she helped Riley get through the whole "moving to a new state" crisis; what could possibly happen to her in the next few years?  This is one of the best Pixar films in a long time.  I think it's an even better family film than The Incredibles.  I will give it a 9/10.

Big Hero 6 (2014)

Ever since Disney bought Marvel, I have been waiting for a Disneyesque Marvel animated feature and here it is!  My family loved this film.  It has everything we love about Disney movies and everything we love about Marvel movies.  Today's film is Big Hero 6.

The animation has come a really long way in the past ten years.  The human characters in this film look ten times better and more realistic than in The Incredibles.  Also, it's set in the fictional city of San Fransokyo (a combo of San Francisco and Tokyo) so if you watch it more than once (like if you have kids that insist on watching the same movie 100 times) have fun looking for famous buildings from both cities.  I found quite a few.

The story centers around two brothers, both geniuses in the robotics/engineering world.  One, Tadashi, is a college student who builds Baymax, a white inflatable robot nurse.  The younger one is Hiro (the hero of the story, you get it?) a fourteen-year-old who participates in illegal battlebot games.  Tadashi convinces Hiro to apply to college by taking him to his lab (once, he's not a hard sell) and meeting his friends and all their neat inventions.

Go Go is a tough girl who tells people to "Woman Up!" and works on a frictionless bike, and Honey Lemon is a Rapunzel look-alike (seriously look at her face.  Azalea had a phase where she watched Tangled several times a day.  I'd recognize that face anywhere.) who works with chemical reactions.  Wasabi (who is called that because he spilled wasabi one time) is a neat freak who works with lasers, and then there's Fred, who doesn't attend school, but loves science.

Hiro invents mind-controlled microbots to impress the college enough to let him attend.  The masked villain steals the microbots and Hiro, along with Baymax and his friends, track him down.  Also, Disney has finally graduated from killing off parents during children's movies because they died before the story even starts.  Hiro turns Baymax from a sweet healthbot into a fighting machine.

My favorite character is Fred, whose dream is to become a fire-breathing murloc.  Follow your dreams.  Also, Baymax is the real star of the movie.  He was programmed to treat pyshical ailments, but when Hiro is depressed, he downloads an entire database of depression and grief help just for him.  He unquestioningly follows him on his quest to turn him into a armor clad superhero, and only stops to prevent killing someone else.

The movie is funny and self-aware at times. "This is our origin story!", Fred cries.  He is also the one to realize they are being chased by a supervillain.  And, we get to watch their training as well.  They are not as good as they could be.  Since it's a Marvel film, we know the villain is going to open some portal (this time a Stargate-like teleporter) and they have to fight him to stop it.  And they succeed.  The animation is wonderful and is one of the best parts of the film.  The city looks beautiful and the people look real.  This film won best animated picture this year.  I will give it a 9/10.

Ghost in the Shell (Kôkaku Kidôtai) (1995)

Today's film is Ghost in the Shell.  Think of it as a film that not only has robots, but has some deep philosophical thoughts.  This month I have focused on films that I have never seen before, but I have watched the Ghost in the Shell anime series, plus the Stand Alone Complex series, so I am very familiar with Major's character.

Major Motoko is a cyborg cop, who along with her mostly human partner, Bateau, is searching for a powerful hacker known as the Puppet Master.  The term "Ghost in the Shell" refers to a human spirit or conscience that resides in a robot's body or brain. It alludes to the Ghost in the Machine, a book written by Arthur Koestler and is way too complicated to write about here.

 Major wonders just how human she is.  She knows that she has emotions, imagination, and memories, but how much of that makes her a human.  Bateau is mostly human with cybernetic eyes.  How much of a cyborg needs to be actual human in order to make them a full person? 

The puppet master manipulates different cyborgs and gives them false memories.  One victim believes he has a wife and daughter, but he has been a bachelor for years.  He has to have his memory restored, but since they don't yet have the technology to fully restore, he may have the false memories of his "daughter" for the rest of his life.

A lot of the scenes are Major being naked, because that's how she uses her cloaking technology.  Everyone else uses a cloaking jacket. Cause that makes sense.  Pretty much every other scene is robot nipples. 

The universe of this movie looks just like our present, the only difference is that a lot of people have cybernetic parts.  Even the guns are the same as the present.  You would think with all this robot stuff, they would have laser guns or something.  Major and Bateau work for Section 9, a special group of cops that have the best technology available.  They find out the Puppet Master is not a person at all, but some ghost created by Section 6 that can infiltrate any network.  Going from network to network, it eventually became self-aware.  Major becomes obsessed with getting to know the ghost of this Puppet Master, to the extent of destroying her cyborg body and messing up her own mind.  But what does she gain from it? 

This movie was beautifully animated, from long panoramic scenes to realistic human movements.  It is a very well done anime.  I will give it an 8/10

The Pirate Fairy (2014)

There's a new Tinker Bell movie out! Yay!

Today's animated feature is the newest installment in the Tinker Bell series: The Pirate Fairy.  We are introduced to Zarina, a dust-keeper fairy who is more interested in performing experiments on the dust rather than simply keeping it.  She is successful in her experiments, but is kicked out of Pixie Hollow for not following the rules of the dust-keeper fairies.

However, she finds some people who are far more appreciative of her talents.  Problem is, they're pirates- the enemy of the fairies.  Zarina uses her dust experimenting skills to claim a title of Captain of a pirate ship.  She returns to Pixie Hollow to steal their blue dust (we learned in Tinker Bell and the Lost Treasure how important blue dust is to them, as it regenerates the Pixie Dust Tree)

Tinker Bell and her friends chase after her to retrieve the blue dust, but Zarina has tricks for them.  She uses her dust to switch all their talents!  Vidia is especially angry that she is now a Tinker fairy.  How can Tinker Bell and her friends use their newfound talents to stop Zarina and get their dust back?

Oh, and bonus:  It also stars Tom Hiddleston as Captain Hook.  

So there's finally a movie that doesn't involve Tinker Bell screwing everything up and then having to fix it.  It's a different sort of pixie movie than we are used to.  So we are giving this film a 7/10.

Home on the Range (2004)

Normally my daughter and I will never say "no" when you ask if we want to watch a Disney animated movie.  But we're going to have to say "no" to this movie.  Today's animated feature is Home on the Range.

The usual cute animal stars are replaced by three cows, one voiced by Roseanne, who travel to catch a cattle rustler for a ransom in order to save their farm.  The cattle rustler uses the profits from the stolen cattle to buy up all the land in Nebraska for some sort of revenge plan that I don't understand.  Also there is a plot twist in the middle that is pointless and doesn't affect the story so don't worry about it.

You know what the best part about Disney movies is?  The memorable songs!  We love singing.  Even my daughter, who cannot speak, will sing the melody of the Disney songs.  This movie has a couple country western songs that we couldn't remember ten minutes after viewing the movie.  They were really bad.

So this was one of the worst animated films we have ever seen.  We cannot recommend it to anyone and anyone involved in its production should be ashamed of themselves.  We will give it a 2/10.

The Lego Movie (2014)

We watched the Oscars last night, and Azalea stayed up late just to hear the Frozen song, "Let it Go", live.  However, it was cut to 2 minutes and felt rushed and she was very disappointed.  This was the first time I let her stay up to watch the whole show since she watches most films with me.  It appears that White Guilt won best picture this year.  So we decided today we would watch a fun movie.  Today's film is The Lego Movie.

"Everything is awesome" about The Lego Movie.  There are over 3 million unique Lego bricks used in this film.  I didn't how how Azalea would react to this movie since she doesn't know what Legos are.  Part of her sensory issue is that she mouths everything.  She knows not to swallow what she's mouthing but I can't take any risk.  So she's not allowed to play with them until she gets out of this stage. But she loved this movie.  It's funny and family friendly.  All of the pictures are actual set pieces from the film.

Emmet (Chris Pratt) is a generic construction worker who lives live by the rules.  He does this so well that he's almost a blank slate that has no personality at all.  He is identified as an extraordinary person and a master builder by the wizard Vitruvius (Morgan Freeman).  But he's no master builder, however, he does have some rather unique ideas.  Such as a bunk-couch.  Turns out his ideas aren't as pointless as everyone believes.

This movie was surprisingly good for one based on a toy brand.  Most of these are made only to sell toys, you know, look at the Transformers cartoons.  But this film celebrates what we love about Lego.  Some people like buying the sets and carefully putting the pieces together following the rules.  Some people are true master builders, like the people who built the giant Maleficient.  Most people are like Emmet.  We like to put random pieces together and see what unique pieces we can build.  There is no right or wrong with playing Lego.

This movie has lots of cameos, from superheroes like Batman and Wonder Woman, to the actors who voice them.  There's even Gandalf and Dumbledore, and some Star Wars characters, too.  The only problem is that the movie is almost too fast paced.  So much happens that some parts can be forgettable.  Other than that, this movie was well done.  We will give it a 9/10.

Winnie the Pooh and Tigger Too (1974)

Today's animated feature is Winnie the Pooh and Tigger Too.  My co-film critic requested that we review this film.  It features the beloved characters that everyone has grown up with, and they're all introduced in the beginning song.  Each character has their own quirks, and they are also the stuffed animals of Christopher Robin.  There's Eeyore the depressed donkey, Rabbit the high-maintenance gardener rabbit, Piglet the worrisome, well, piglet, Kanga and her son, Roo, Owl, and most importantly, Winnie the Pooh and Tigger too.

I think my daughter likes Tigger because he is the most like a three-year-old out of any of the characters.  He's hyper and bounces all the time.  He has enough energy for five people.  My daughter is always bouncing, on the floor, on the couch, on the bed, outside, everywhere.  Especially when I'm trying to relax, she'll take a flying leap and land on me, like Tigger takes a flying leap and lands on Rabbit all the time.  I can see why Rabbit gets fed up with him.

Rabbit gets the brilliant but cruel idea to lead Tigger into the woods and get him lost.  This will somehow make him stop bouncing.  Piglet and Pooh come along with them.  Piglet, Pooh and Rabbit ditch Tigger but instead get themselves lost in the misty forest.  Tigger, who never gets lost, helps lead them home.

Later, Tigger takes Roo boucing through the forest and they bounce all the way up a tree.  Being a feline, Tigger can't get down from the top of the tree. Since there are no firefighters in the Hundred Acre Wood, Christopher Robin and friends come to the rescue.  Tigger swears that he will never bounce again if he is rescued.  When he comes down, he is so happy he wants to bounce, but Rabbit reminds him of his oath.  Eventually Rabbit and everyone realize that they want the happy, bouncy Tigger back.

A lot of Disney animations are based on books, but the Winnie the Pooh movies actually take place in a book.  Tigger even has a conversation with the narrator, who helps him out by tipping the book.  The characters also interact with the letters and words in the book, too.  These movies are short and perfect for young children.  We will give it an 8/10.

Monsters University (2013)

Today's animated feature is Monsters University.  It's the first prequel of a Pixar film, and it tells the story of Monsters, Inc. stars Mike Wazowski and James Sullivan in their first year of college. This is the first Disney/Pixar film that features characters living the college life.

I actually liked this better than the first movie.  Mike has always wanted to be a scarer ever since a field trip in grade school.  He has studied and prepared his entire life to be part of the Scare School at Monsters University.  Sully is from a family scarers and is running on his family's reputation, not studying or taking any lessons seriously.  The Scare School is run by Dean Hardscrabble, who looks, acts, and sounds exactly like the Grand Councilwoman from Lilo and Stitch.  Both Mike and Sully get kicked out of the Scare School and want desperately to get back in.

Mike joins the loser nerd fraternity, Lambda Lambda Lambda, I mean Oozma Kappa, so he can be part of the Scare Games, and rejoin the Scare School.  Since his team is a member short, Sully joins him as he also sees this as his chance to be part of the school again.  They complete their first challenge without getting eliminated by sheer luck, but study and work hard to get better and better at each game.  This part of the movie, where Oozma Kappa beats the cool jock fraternity, is almost exactly like Revenge of the Nerds.

Unfortunately, Mike discovers that Sully cheated because he knew Mike wasn't scary enough to win.  Angered, Mike goes through a door into the human world to prove he can scare.  Sully chases after him and together they manage to produce a scare so magnificent, it allows them to escape to the Monster world.  Still, they are both expelled from school, but that doesn't stop them from applying to Monsters, Inc. anyway.  They work their way up from the bottom and eventually make it as scarers.  It shows that there can be multiple paths to get where you want to be, and sometimes college isn't for everyone.  The whole movie was funny, especially the games, and it was surprisingly well done for a sequel.  Well, prequel.  I will give it a 7/10.

Mr. Bug Goes to Town (1941)

Throughout my studies of animation history, sometimes I come across terrible animations.  Like really bad.  What I'm talking about is the feature Mr. Bug Goes to Town, also known as Bugville, or Hoppity Goes to Town.  It is so terrible that the Fleischer Brothers were fired by Paramount and Famous Studios was born.  Fleischer Studios produced many quality shorts, but they always fell flat when trying to make a feature.  Why this is historically important is, even though it's terrible, this story is the basic inspiration for A Bug's Life (1998), one of the first fully computer animated films (after Toy Story).

 

The story is a village of various insects live together in a vacant lot.  A skyscraper is going to be built on their land, which will drive them out of their homes.  Hoppity, a grasshopper with the most annoying voice ever, loves Honey Bee and wants to take her family away to safer ground.  Oh no! But evil Mr. Beetle thwarts his plan and forces Mr. Bee to give his daughter away in marriage to him.

 

 

 

Meanwhile, two humans waiting for a royalty check are afraid they are going to lose their home.  They decide to buy the penthouse in the new skyscraper instead.  Oh yeah, sure, when we were broke and lost our first home we totally had enough to buy a fucking penthouse.  The only reason they didn't get their check is because the evil Mr. Beetle hid it.  However, Hoppity finds it and gives it to the humans.  In return, all the bugs go live in the rooftop garden.  Which, they climb up the skyscraper to get to!  Yes, the tiny insects climb up a skyscraper and don't get blown off.

 

The worst part about this film is the voice acting.  It is just terrible.  I can't recommend this film to anyone.  Only if you want to see the inspiration for A Bug's Life for comparison purposes should you ever see this film.  I will give it a 2/10.

The Croods (2013)

Today's animated feature is The Croods, nominated for both a Golden Globe and an Academy Award.  It is a lot better than I expected it to be.  Dreamworks has really stepped up its game in the animation department, especially in the portrayal of humans.

Eep is a cavegirl (a Neanderthal) living with her family, the last one in the area.  They're the last ones because they spend all their time in the safety of the cave.  Due to the constant earthquakes and changing of the Earth's landscape, their cave is destroyed and they have to leave for the first time to find higher ground.  Meanwhile, Eep meets a boy, who looks like a more modern human.  He is full of ideas, like shoes and fire! He impresses her family, except the jealous dad, who up until now has protected the family.

All of the animals in this movie are animals that either never have existed, or could never exist, like giant flying turtles.  One such animal is the big cute tiger with colors reminiscent of a macaw.

This is an animation the whole family can enjoy.  It's funny and full of heart.  I will give it a 7/10.

Sleeping Beauty (1959)

I'm excited about this animated feature, and my daughter is especially excited! Today's animated feature is Sleeping Beauty.  Sleeping Beauty's name is Aurora, she has blonde hair, and wears a pink dress.  Because of these two reasons, her favorite doll is Aurora and she carried it around with her everywhere without even knowing what movie she was from.  So we watched it and the dragon scared her so badly she had night terrors for two straight weeks.  She recently wanted to watch it again and I'm like "Are you sure?" But she wasn't scared this time and really liked this movie.

If you compare this movie to earlier Disney princess films, Cinderella and Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, it's not as good, animation wise or story wise.  However, I liked that it heavily took from the ballet instead of just the fairy tale.  When Aurora is dancing in the forest, her movements are very fluid and ballerina-esque.  The drawing style of the people and their costumes has a medieval feel to invoke the times. The melodies of the songs are also taken directly from the ballet.

In the original story, there are 13 fairies, but in this movie there are only 4: Merriweather, Fauna, Flora, and Maleficent.  The king and queen do not invite Maleficent to their daughter's party because she's evil.  Feeling snubbed, she curses the baby with death - specifically, before her 16th birthday ends she will prick her finger on the spindle of a spinning wheel and die.  The three good fairies take the baby into hiding and raise them as their own, without any help from magic.  Does this mean the fairies aren't really needed?  They were gone for 16 entire years and no one even noticed.  And as we learn during their preparations for her birthday party, even after 16 years they haven't mastered life without magic.  If they have no idea how to sew a dress, where did their outfits and Aurora's outfits come from?  Babies and toddlers need lots of clothes because they get dirty.  They couldn't have gone 16 years without learning how to sew or cook.

And why couldn't Maleficent find her?  You expect me to believe she's the most evil fairy with the most powerful magic and she can't even find one girl in her own backyard?  The dragon is cool, yes, everyone I know loves that dragon.  But she gets killed way too easily.

Although Princess Aurora is most associated with her pink dress, she doesn't wear it until the very end of the movie.  Most of the time it's blue (because the two fairies fight over what color it should be).  She wears pink in the parks to differentiate herself from Cinderella, who also wears blue.  This way, kids can associate the princess with a certain color dress.  This also explains why Ariel wears a sea-green dress that she never wore in the movie.

Even though Sleeping Beauty is not the best of the princess films, it has the most memorable villain. I will give this film a 6/10.

Macskafogó (Cat City) (1986)

Today's film is an animated feature from Hungary called Macskafogó (Cat City).

In this world, cats and mice live together in large cities.  The main cities are run by mice and the cats are gangsters who rob and kill them.  Even though this is not Earth, it's laid out exactly the same way and each land has the same cultures.  A secret agent is sent to "Pokyo" (mouse version of Tokyo) to bring back plans of a weapon guaranteed to stop the cats.  The evil cats catch wind of this and hire rats to follow him to steal the plans.

It's part dramatic adventure and part comedy.  I have heard that a lot of the comedy is lost in translation.  Most of the jokes are language jokes and puns in Hungarian that will not translate into English.  Puns can't translate from one language to another because of their nature.  Even without the jokes, I still enjoyed watching this.  It reminded me of Rescue Rangers or any other Saturday morning cartoon.  Yes, some of the scenes are more adult but there is nothing explicit.

The rats are remarkably stupid and the agent has an easy time of tricking them.  However, the cats are waiting in Pokyo to take the plans.  There is a side plot of a cop called Billy Bugle who flies to Pokyo to play his trumpet.  His plan crashes in the jungle and he travels through it until he meets some bats.  The bats are Mexican and their wings are ponchos.  There are a lot of stereotypes in this movie but it's supposed to because it's a spoof.  It spoofs action films, adventure films and American films in general, mainly the James Bond series.  I thought it was pretty funny.  I will give it an 8/10.

My Little Pony: Equestria Girls (2013)

Since I've had to watch this movie every night for the past month, today I'm reviewing My Little Pony: Equestria Girls.  It has some pretty good, catchy songs in it, and my daughter has been singing the main one all day (she sings the tune, but no words can come out).  We are both huge fans of the show but I wasn't sure how much I was going to like this.  My daughter absolutely loves this movie.

This sort of film was made specifically for fans of the show.  Without watching it, you wouldn't know how Twilight Sparkle became a princess, why her wings were a bother, who any of the characters were or anything.  The filmmakers assume you already know all this because why else would you go and watch it?  It's also to sell the Equestria Girl dolls, which look like Bratz dolls redone.  I'm not going to buy any because my daughter has too many toys already, and she definitely doesn't need a human version of the same character.

Twilight Sparkle's crown gets stolen by Sunset Shimmer, a former student of Princess Celestia's.  She and the crown go through a mirror to an alternate reality.  Twilight Sparkle is told to go through the mirror, alone, and retrieve her crown before any damage can be done.  Luckily, eternally loyal Spike jumps through the mirror with her.  After they pass, they are surprised to see he has turned into a dog.  But they have no idea what Twilight Sparkle is.  Turns out she is now a human girl, and all of her pony friends are now also humans who attend high school.  They all have the same hairstyles, personalities, and skin colors of the original ponies (yes that includes blue Rainbow Dash and purple Twilight Sparkle).  So this isn't necessarily Earth, just an alternate reality where the former ponies look human-like.

Her crown in this reality is the prize for winning "Princess of the Fall Formal", so instead of asking for it and running back to the mirror, she decides to spend her time trying to win this honor.  Also, we get to see all the main characters (the ones who hold the elements of harmony) but none of them are friends, thanks to Sunset Shimmer's manipulation.  Thanks to Twilight Sparkle, everyone becomes friends again and are super happy.  Also, there are quite a few songs, which get sung at my house all the time now.  And in the car.  And at the grocery store.

Sunset Shimmer eventually does get her hands on the crown, turns into a red demon and announces how she's going to take over Equestria.  But before she can go, Twilight Sparkle all of a sudden is able to use magic again, and basically uses the elements of harmony to blow her up and turn the nearby ground into a crater.  Naturally, Sunset Shimmer isn't hurt at all because of this, but has learned her lesson and genuinely wants to learn how to be a friend.  Of course, because of the super special magic that is friendship.  Since I have to watch this so much and am still not sick of it, I'm giving this a 6/10.

Frozen (2013)

We got to see Frozen and it was amazing! It was very well done and is not like the typical princess meets prince story.  The film also redefines true love.

Anna and Elsa are the princesses of Arendelle, a secluded kingdom in Norway.  For reasons not explained, Elsa was born with the powers to create snow and ice.  She uses this ability often to create snow-time fun with her sister.  After accidentally striking her sister's head, her parents rush her to be cured.  In order to remove the magic from her sister's head, all the memories of magic were removed as well.  Elsa is so afraid of hurting her sister again that she isolates herself from her.  Unfortunately, fear and emotional distress make her powers worse and harder to control.

Fast forward a few years later, when Elsa is to be crowned Queen.  Up until then, they kept the gates shut and let very few people into the castle.  During the song "For the First Time in Forever" look for Rapunzel (with short brown hair) and Flynn as cameos.  During the after-coronation party, Elsa's powers are accidentally set off and only get worse.  She flees into the mountains.  I'm not going into a lot of detail because the film is still in theaters.

One thing I liked is how they joked about people getting engaged the same day they meet, which is what happened in a lot of fairy tales.  Prince Hans, who is handsome and charming, asks Anna to marry him.  Queen Elsa won't bless the marriage because they haven't known each other but for one day.  As Anna travels to find her sister, she meets Kristoff and his loyal reindeer, Sven.  Kristoff also makes fun of her for getting engaged so soon.

The best song is "Let it Go" sung by Idina Menzel as Elsa.  She's had to keep her powers hidden for so long and finally gets to explore her own creativity and abilities.  From personal experiences at work,  Idina Menzel can be quite a bitch but she sure can sing.

Above all, this film is about sisterhood.  Anna and Elsa are as different as can be, but they complement each other.  I can't wait until my own sisters visit here soon so we can watch it together.  We learn that true love is putting someone else's needs above our own.  Elsa truly loves her sister, that's why she isolated herself to protect her.  Anna will discover her own version of true love in the end.  The only part I didn't care for was the talking magical snowman, Olaf.  I thought he was useless, but he was cute for the kids so I'll let it pass.  I will give this film a 9/10.

The Lion King (1994)

Today's animated feature is The Lion King.  What can I say about it that has not been said before?  It is regarded as one of the best and well-made animations ever.  It also marks the first time Disney has used a Shakespeare play instead of a children's book or fairy tale.

Did you have to read Hamlet in school?  We did.  Sometimes it's hard to read because of the flowy language, but that's how they talked back then.  In the story, the King has a jealous brother who kills him to take the throne and the Queen marries him.  The King appears in ghost form to his son, Prince Hamlet and tells him the truth about his death.  Hamlet goes to avenge his father's death and absolutely everybody dies.

Naturally this isn't going to work for a family animated film.  The King in this film is Mufasa and his jealous dark-maned brother is Scar.  In the Manazoto language, Mufasa literally means "king".  I guess we know the parents' favorite when one is named King and the other Scar.  For real.  Does Scar's black mane illustrate his not-fitting-in the family, as if he's the black sheep (or lion) in the family?

Scar is the most badass of all villains.  He's even better than any Bond villain.  He doesn't tie anyone up and give a lenghty explanation of his plan.  He simply says to his brother, "Long live the king", and tosses him off a cliff.  Granted, he did do a musical number detailing his plans of usurping the throne accompained by Nazi goose-stepping hyenas, but the victim was not there to see it.

Scar also makes it seem to Simba that he was the one who caused his father's death.  He tells him, "Nobody means for these things to happen.  But, the king is dead, and if it weren't for you he'd still be alive."  He tells him to run away and never return.  Once he is gone, he orders the hyenas to kill him.  Notice how he didn't directly kill them himself.  Simba escapes into the jungle, where he meets Timon and Pumbaa.  They teach him the art of "not giving a fuck", also known as "Hakuna Matata".

Fast forward a few years later, because I don't know how long lions live, when Scar's bad practices have led to the destruction of the pridelands and the starvation of everyone.  Even the hyenas are starting to turn on him.  Nala, Simba's childhood friend, finds him and implores him to return and take his true place as king.  Simba doesn't want to, partially because of guilt and partially because of laziness.  That is, until his father returns.

His father appears to him in the night sky, as a ghost in cloud form.  Look, if your dead father appears in a cloud telling you to get your shit together, it's really time to get your shit together.  So, Simba runs back home - to dramatic African music.  Will he defeat his uncle and bring balance back to the Pridelands?  Of course he will.

The best part of this movie is the beautiful score and fun songs.  I bought the soundtrack just for the score by Hans Zimmer.  This is one of the best animated films I have ever seen.  It has a beautiful score, great story, and stunning animation.  I can watch it again and again and never tire of it.  It is so great.  I will give this film a 10/10.

Coraline (2009)

Today's animated feature is Coraline.  It's a film that I think I would have been too frightened to see as a child, but as an adult I really like it.  This film was directed by Henry Selick, who also directed The Nightmare Before Christmas.  However, instead of a sing-songy cute creepy movie, we get an actual creepy adventure where a lot happens in a short running time.  Still, it is the longest stop motion animation ever made.

Coraline and her parents move into an old house that's been converted into apartments.  Her parents write for a gardening catalog and are too busy writing to do anything else.  They have no time to fix up the place, most of the boxes are still unpacked, they often forget to buy food, have no time to actually do some gardening, and above all ignore Coraline at all times.

Bored and lonely, she decides to explore the area.  Her other neighbors are a pair of ancient retired actresses living in the basement.  They love their terriers, and once one of them dies, they stuff them and dress them as an angel.  The upstairs neighbor is an eccentric Russian who trains circus mice.  The main person she talks to is the owner of the house's grandson, Wybie (the only character not in the book).  She is mostly annoyed by him.  While exploring, she comes across a tiny door wallpapered over.

She eventually opens the door to find a brick wall.  Disappointed, she goes to sleep that night.  Then, she goes downstairs to the door to find a tunnel to an alternate reality!  Everyone in the house, including her parents are there.  The weirdest thing is that they all have black buttons for eyes.  Everyone exists to serve or entertain her in this world.  Her "other mother" cooks fantastic meals and scrumptious desserts.  Everything is so amazing here.

I'm not going to write everything that happens, but this world exists to lure her in and trap her, like a spiderweb traps a fly.  Coraline realizes this almost too late and manages to escape, only to find her parents trapped.  Earlier, she would have given up this world for the seemingly better one, but after finding out what is really going on, she heads back to the other one to rescue them.  Like in Alice in Wonderland, Coraline is helped out by an intelligent talking cat.  She will need all the help she can get to defeat the Other Mother and escape this world.  This was one of the best stop motion animations I have seen, it was creepy without being "cutesy creepy" like any Burton crapola and yet I feel my daughter would like it.  I wanted to see it first to make sure it wasn't awful.  I will give this film an 8/10.

The Little Mermaid: Ariel's Beginning (2008)

My co-film critic has decided that today's animated feature is The Little Mermaid: Ariel's Beginning.  Now, we all know one thing about direct-to-video sequels from Disney: They suck.  But not this one. This one they actually put effort into and is a cute story.

The movie starts off with Ariel and her six sisters as young children, back when everyone was happy.  Their mother, Athena, loved music and sang to them often.  They spent much of their time on the rocks above water.  One day, a pirate ship passed through, ran aground, and crushed Athena in the process.  This explains why Triton hated humans so much in the original movie, and why he forbade everyone from going to the surface.

Triton was so distraught with his music-loving wife's death, that he completely banned music in the kingdom.  Fast forward ten years later, when Ariel is about 13 years old, and not interested in boys yet.  But some of her sisters are! One good thing about this movie is that we see more of her sisters and their unique personalites.  We also see how Ariel meets Flounder.

Now, one thing about the songs in this film: they are terrible.  The sisters' governess, Marina, is played by Sally Field, who has multiple songs to sing.  She should not be a singer ever.  It's worse because every time Azalea hears a song, she grabs my chin and lip and signs for me to sing.  I really really do not want to sing any song from this movie.  But sometimes I have to.  For a movie in which music is banned, there are a lot of songs.  But Azalea really likes it, and it is much better than any sequel I've seen.  So I will give it a 6/10.