Le Million (1931)

Today's film is Le Million,  which I believe is French for The Million.  I did not expect it to be a musical!

 The main character is a starving artist type who owes money to a lot of people.  His money troubles are over now that he's won the lottery.  Everyone sings "Millionaire"!  How he probably won't be a millionaire once he's paid everyone off!

Luckily he has put his lotto ticket in a safe space, such as a locked box or drawer.  No, wait, he is a man; he just stuck it in his jacket pocket and left that at his girlfriend's apartment.  She gives it to a fugitive to help him out.  His friend and/or possibly roommate also knows about the jacket, and some friend he is because now he's after it for himself!

 Everyone goes on a wild goose chase to retrieve the jacket, but we all know he's going to get the ticket back.  It is actually the fugitive from the beginning that helps them out the most. I will give this film a 7/10.

Gold Diggers of 1933 (1933)

Today's film is Gold Diggers of 1933.  It is about people trying to put on a Broadway show in the middle of the Great Depression, so it will conveniently be a musical.  Actually the songs are recognizable even if you haven't seen the film yet.  This film is funny and full of dirty/risque jokes.

A group of showgirls, Polly, Carol, and Trixie, live together and are excited that a new show will soon be put on.  However, there isn't any money invested yet.  Luckily, the handsome piano player next door, Brad, offers his services as a musician/songwriter and a small payment.  He doesn't write a check, but instead shows up later to offer $15000 cash.  That's a lot of money!  He is being super secretive so it's easy to be suspicious of him.

At first, Trixie suspects he is a bank robber, but the truth is worse - he's from a conservative rich family.  His older brother and the family lawyer waste no time in traveling to his house to tell him exactly what they think of cheap scandalous showgirls.  The showgirls are quite insulted and decide to give them a run for their money.  So, they prove they are not gold diggers by...being gold diggers??

 Everything seems to end up well, seeing as how every character gets married.  Also it shows you shouldn't judge people before you know them.  Also, the song "Gold Digger" was written by Kanye West, and he later married one.  Go figure.

The last scenes actually show bits of the musical they're performing.  They have a violin number which seems especially "electric".  The last number actually alludes to the depression and refers to the plight of homeless veterans.  Well, I am so glad we don't have that problem anymore.  This film was made 83 years ago, you'd think people would have come up with a solution by now.  I will give this film a 9/10.

On the Town (1949)

Today we are watching a fun movie, On the Town.  It follows three sailors making the most of their 24 hour shore leave in New York City.

They soon get burnt out from sightseeing and decide to go find some ladies.  Two of them have no problem finding lady companions, but not the last one,Gabey.  He falls in love with a "Miss Turnstiles" after seeing her picture on a poster.  So he has to have her.  Man there is like 5 million women in New York City,  you can't be that picky.  What does he even have to offer her?

One thing I really liked was the female characters, Brunhilde the cabby and Claire the scientist.  They are not shy and demure, they are just as flirtatious as the men. They provide much of the humor in the film.  Brunhilde also tries to find a match for her roommate,  who unfortunately looks like Cinderella's evil stepsister.  After an accident involving a dinosaur skeleton,  now the cops are looking for them too!  It's about to get wacky in here! 

Eventually Gabey does meet up with Miss Turnstiles, who wants nothing to do with him until they both find out they are from the same bumfuck nowhere town.  Gabey and his friends catch up to her at her dance number, which involves them wearing dance clothes too.  Men wearing women's clothes is always funny.  The cops catch up to them, and they are put back on their ship.  But we notice that it's morning again, and we see more sailors pouring out, ready to experience the city that never sleeps. And tomorrow it will begin anew again.  I thought this movie was funny.  I will give it a 7/10.

A Star is Born (1954)

Today's film is A Star is Born.  There is a lot of singing.  But it's all done by one person, Judy Garland.  Like she has to sing every song.  There's too much singing.

I watched the restored version, which is longer than the theatrical version.  The film itself had been lost, but the soundtrack was found, so they put still images where the film would be.  It made a lot more sense with the extra stuff put in.

This was one of Judy Garland's last films.  That's probably why she put such effort into singing everything.  Her character, Esther/Vicki's husband, Norman, is an alcoholic.  Judy in real life suffered from addiction and eventually passed away from an overdose.  There is a deeper theme of addiction and depression in this film that is slightly hidden by all the happy singing. So I feel that this was very personal project for her.  It is pretty dark that way.  The film dragged on a bit, but it was okay.  I will give it a 5/10.

Les parapluies de Cherbourg (The Umbrellas of Cherbourg) (1964)

Today's film is The Umbrellas of Cherbourg. This movie is colorful and beautiful.  I love the jewel tones of Genevieve's house.  What's unique about this movie is that every single bit of dialog is sung, like an opera!

The first exposure I had to this film was while watching Futurama.  Fry's dog waits for 12 years for him to return, which he never does.  The song playing during the final scene is from this film.  If you listen, the music is repeated several times during Genevieve's speaking/singing parts.

The plot is pretty straightforward.  Genevieve loves Guy, but they are both young.  Genevieve lives with her mom and works at her umbrella shop, while Guy has been drafted into military service.  Since there was a war at the time, Guy expects to be gone for two years.  Since this is obviously Genevieve's first love, she is totally devastated.

Two months after Guy's departure, Genevieve discovers that she's pregnant.  Meanwhile, her mom's umbrella shop isn't doing too well.  They're running short on money, and it's probably because her mom, Emery, wears a brand new outfit every single scene.  I think she's spending way too much money, and when forced to sell her jewels to pay off debts, she doesn't want to.  She relents and decides to part with her pearl necklace, which catches the attention of a handsome jewel dealer, Roland.  Later, Roland confesses to Emery that he fell in love with Genevieve at first sight and would like to marry her.  Both of them are afraid to admit that she's pregnant to him.  Roland states that he's going away for business and will return a few months later for her answer.

A few months pass, and Genevieve is getting big! There is no way to hide her pregnancy any longer, and she is worried about what Roland might think.  Guy, the father, knows about the pregnancy and talks about it with her through the mail.  Roland doesn't care that she's pregnant, and wants to raise the baby as his own.  He loves Genevieve no matter what.  Genevieve is impressed and flattered.  She knows the baby needs a safe and secure household, and who knows - Guy could be killed in the war any day now.  Then, what would become of her?  She does what she thinks is right and accepts Roland's proposal so she and her baby can live the life of luxury and never have to resort to selling off possessions just to not lose their house.

Soon, Guy's military service is up!  He happily returns to Cherbourg, but Genevieve is not there.  Where is she?  Her mom has sold the umbrella shop and moved away.  Guy learns from his family that Genevieve married Roland and had her baby.  She didn't even bother telling him herself.  Guy is very depressed.

Later, Guy marries his friend Madeleine out of desperation, knowing he can't have his true love.  He has a son with her. He buys a gas station, like he promised to do with Genevieve.  Years pass, and a rich older Genevieve stops at his gas station with her daughter, Francoise.  Guy has named his son Francois.  She asks him if she wants to see his daughter, and he says no.  He's never seen her before and it would hurt too much.  They both quietly and uneventfully part ways.

Even though every line is sung, this film is more realistic than most romance movies because most people don't end up with their first true love, and they have to make the most of what they do have in life.  I will give this film an 8/10.

Frank (2014)

Today's movie is Frank, mainly because I heard good things about it, and wanted to know why Frank wears a giant fake head.  Turns out he's crazy. Could not see that coming.

Our main character is Jon, a keyboard player who dreams of being a big time artist.  By chance, he gets invited to play for a strange band led by Frank, who wears a giant fake head.  Strange doesn't even begin to properly describe this band, and Frank isn't even the worst person in the band. The worst person is the ill-tempered Clara who uses her rage and hatred to control Frank. Also in the band are two angry French people and Don, who invites Jon to travel with them.

After playing together, they travel to a small island near Ireland to record their album, which takes an extremely long time due to Frank's demand for everything to be perfect. After running out of money, Jon offers to use his inheriterance to keep staying on the island recording, but that does not speed anyone up. Meanwhile, Jon records everything on Twitter and youtube and gets the world involved in watching their antics.  They get invited to play SXSW (south by southwest, a huge festival in Austin) but it ends up being a disaster.

Even though the movie is funny, there are a lot of heartfelt moments, and we wish the best for Frank.  Jon thinks that separating him from Clara is in his best interest, but he can't cope without her.  He loses his fake head and runs back to his parent's home without telling anyone.  His parents explain to Jon why he wears a fake head, and that he never had any trauma in his life that leads him to great music.  He acts this way because he's mentally ill.  A lot of people are mentally ill without any trauma or reason, that's how they are. It's an illness. His parents accept him and want the best for him. Jon takes Frank back to Clara, who sings to her without his giant head.

This movie is very unpredictable and sweet. I will give it an 8/10.

  

Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1953)

Today's film is Gentlemen Prefer Blondes.  It stars Jane Russell and Marilyn Monroe as Dorothy and Lorelei, two cabaret singers. Dorothy is like crazy hot. Lorelei is a shameless gold digger who is dating a nerdy guy but still exploits other men for jewels, especially diamonds which she loves and sings about.

Lorelei goes on a cruise to France paid for by her boyfriend's father, who disapproves of her, mainly because she is a shameless gold digger. She takes Dorothy with her as her "chaperone", but she's there to ogle hot guys.  Also, this is a musical, but there's not too much singing in it.

I know that feel, Dorothy. God damn.

Lorelei's future father-in-law hires a private investigator to follow her around and prove that she's cheating on her boyfriend.  She does, and she weasels a man, Piggy, into giving his wife's diamond tiara to her.  I don't trust any woman that calls her man "daddy".

Dorothy falls in love with the pi, because he is hot.  But, she gets wise to what he's doing, and steals back the incriminating photos of her friend.  When they get to France, Lorelei's father-in-law stops paying for anything after learning what she's done.  Without any money, they are forced to leave the hotel and get jobs again.  Although without work visas, they could have been deported and gotten their old jobs back where they live.

Piggy's wife and lawyer accuse Lorelei of stealing her diamond tiara, which she technically did.  She blackmailed him into giving it to her, even though it wasn't his to give.  Dorothy does what she can to clear her friend's name and get back with the hot pi.  I will give this film a 6/10.

My Fair Lady (1964)

Today's film is My Fair Lady.  How this won the Best Picture over Mary Poppins is beyond me.  Mary Poppins had better acting, better writing, special effects, songs, everything.  The songs weren't that great, either.  I don't like songs that are "talking" songs and that seems to be what most of them were.

It starts off with Eliza Doolittle, a flower seller, who is busily hollering at everyone.  She has a nasty accent, and this professor named Henry Higgins makes fun of her accent and even sings a few songs about it.  He specializes in speech and meets another man, Colonel Pickering, who specializes in Indian dialects.

Eliza goes to Professor Higgins to pay for speaking lessons, so she can get a better job.  He replies by ridiculing her again.  Later, he bets Pickering that in 6 months he can pass her off as a lady.  So, most of the time, she is practicing her alphabet.  He tries to pass her off at the ascot, but she reverts back to her normal voice when she gets too excited at the horse race.

Later, some hot guy comes to her door, because he was intrigued by her at the ascot.  This leads to more songs.  Eliza goes to a ball, and excels at pretending to be a lady.  Now, all of a sudden, she doesn't like being a lady.  She goes back to where she was selling flowers, and sees her father.  He also has come into money, and is more frustrated than he is happy.  Then, she goes back to the Professor, who spent all that time making fun of her, and the movie ends right there.  I don't like how it suddenly ended.  I'm giving it a 6/10.

Footlight Parade (1933)

Today's film is Footlight Parade.  The first part of this film is completely forgettable.  The only reason this film might be worth seeing is for the final three numbers, in which we actually get to see the musical prologues.  However, to me they didn't work.  In the "Waterfalls" number, how did fit an entire waterfall into a theater??  Then they had an entire pool!  In the last number,  the actors held a sign above their heads, which, if looked above, showed a picture of the flag and then the president.  This is for a movie theater audience, right?  How are they supposed to see that?  It wasn't worth it to me to watch this film, and I have no reason or desire to ever watch it again.  I will give it a 4/10.

Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (1954)

Hi! My co-film critic and I have had so much fun cheering during the Olympics.  Our favorite event is the women's bobsled.  It is so exciting.  However, it's already reaching 85 F here so watching people compete in snow feels odd.

 

We watched a musical together, so today's film will be Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.  It is a strange mixture of disturbing and fun.  A mountain man named Adam has six brothers, and they all look alike.  He goes down from the mountain one day to pick up supplies and find a wife.  He finds Milly serving food to rough men in a bar.  She instantly falls in love with him for reasons unknown and they are married by the pastor a few minutes later. 

 

She rides with him up into the mountains.  There, she meets his brothers, whom she did not know existed before.  Shouldn't living with six grown men in a small cabin something he might want to mention to his wife beforehand?  He introduces them to her.  His brothers are: Benjamin, Caleb, Daniel, Ephraim, Frank, and Gideon.  Frank is short for Frankincense because according to them, there are no F names in the Bible.  Actually that's not true.  There are F names in the New Testament.  She is so mad at him that she won't allow him to sleep in the same room with her.  He goes out to sleep in a nearby tree, and later she does invite him in.

Milly soon figures out that she was brought home only to cook and clean and look after the men.  Now, since this musical isn't Snow White and the Seven Uncouth Redheads, she convinces them to look for wives as well.  She sings a song about going courtin' (all the songs sound alike by the way).  However, Adam reads a story about the Romans kidnapping the Sabine women and thinks this is a great idea.  So, all the men go into town and kidnap the women.  In sacks.  And carry them off in their wagon.  The men of the village chase after them, but are stopped by a massive avalanche which also cuts off the cabin from civilization.  Through the long months of winter, Stockholm Syndrome sets in, and by spring, each woman has fallen in love with one of the brothers.  Then more singing and dancing. Gag.

After the spring thaw, the men of the village come for the stolen women, but the women won't leave.  On top of this, Milly has had a baby girl, whom all the women claim as their own so the fathers will force the six brothers to marry them.  So we get six more weddings.  They're going to need to build a bigger cabin.  So if you like musicals and movies about committing felonies, then you will love this one because it's both.  Other than that I can't see any reason to watch this.  I will give it a 5/10.

The Jazz Singer (1927)

Today's film is The Jazz Singer.  It is regarded as the first talking picture ever made.  Actually it's more like a half silent film/half musical.  Still it was amazing that they were able to transition from silent to talking films so quickly once they figured it out.

The story is predictable and easy to follow.  A Jewish cantor's son does not want to follow in his father footsteps, instead he wants to sing Jazz.  Jazz was like the rock and roll of its time when it comes to parents hating music and the father is royally pissed off that his son wants to sing this garbage.  So the son, Jakie, leaves, changes his name to the more acceptable and less Jewish-sounding Jack Robin, and sings jazz.  He is "discovered" by a beautiful dancer named Mary, and he has a crush on her.

As an adult, he gets a part on Broadway, which is an accomplishment that any parent should be proud of.  But oh no, not his dad.  Jack comes home and sings to his understanding and loving mother.  Then he sings the same song in jazz style.  His dad storms in and throws him out of the house.

This was the only picture I could find that
didn't show him in blackface.  I don't want
to end up on some government list.

His dad falls ill and cannot sing at the service for the Day of Atonement, one of the most important days of the year.  His mom and family friend go to give the guilt trip to Jack to force him to sing.  Unfortunately, this day falls on the opening of the Broadway musical he's in and singing at the service means giving up his beginning Broadway career.  His mom lays on the guilt trip hard, and Jack points out that his dad was the one who threw him out of the house.  Meanwhile, their friend cannot find anyone to sing for the service.  Really? They're having trouble finding a Jewish person in New York City?  The guilt trip works and Jack sings for the service.

His dad hears him singing from his room, and says, "We finally have our son back", and dies.  What a sorry excuse for a parent.  He never supported anything he did. Children are going to have different wants, and may go down a different path than we do.  Jack didn't do drugs, or steal, all he wanted was to sing.  And because he didn't sing exactly as his father wanted, he was hateful towards him until the moment he died.  He never got to see Jack open on Broadway like his mother did, and honestly he wouldn't have cared.  I felt bad for Jack.

The main reason to watch this film is not for story purposes, but for historical purposes.  What would it have been like to only see silent films, and then actually hear someone sing during it?  I think it would have be amazing.  I will give this film a 7/10.

West Side Story (1961)

Today's film is West Side Story.  I don't care for live action musicals because they are so fakey.  Randomly bursting into song is really fake, even in animations, but I accept them because they are cartoons.  I have never liked musicals.  And here I am watching one.

Everyone knows the story of Romeo and Juliet.  This is the same story, but instead of rivaling families, they are replaced by ballet dancing gangsters, the white Jets and the Puerto Rican sharks.  Tony is a Jet who falls in love with Maria at a dance party.  Incidentally, Maria's older brother is Bernardo from the Sharks.  Their love is doomed from the start.

The songs weren't anything special.  Normally if I watch a musical I get the songs stuck in my head, and that didn't happen this time.  My daughter liked the dancing and danced along with them.  Both of the Romeo and Juliet characters didn't die, but one of them does. That didn't surprise me.  I would have liked this better if I would have seen it off-Broadway as a play, but it loses something on the screen.  This is true of most musicals.

Even though this is an award-winning musical, it did nothing for me. I will give it a 6/10.

The Wizard of Oz (1939)

Today's film is The Wizard of Oz. It's an overall cute film for kids with memorable songs.  I will give it a 7/10.

After reading the books and seeing the movies, I noticed that Dorothy is similar to Alice from Alice in Wonderland. In the book, Dorothy is a young girl like Alice, but is portrayed by the year old Judy Garland in the film.  Dorothy lives in dull, gray Kansas while Alice lives in dull Victorian England.  Both want excitement and adventure in their lives.  Both dream of a magical land where anything can and will happen.  Alice goes to Wonderland while Dorothy goes to Oz.  Both fall a long way to get there.  Dorothy falls, along with her house, and lands in Oz, while Alice falls down a rabbit hole.  Both lands feature talking, human-like animals.  Both lands feature an evil woman (The Queen of Hearts and the Wicked Witch) who want to destroy them.  Both Dorothy and Alice overcome their opponent.  Being tired of this excitement, they want to go home, and it turns out it was all a fantastic dream.

The Wicked Witch is misunderstood and Glinda is a real jerk.

I felt bad for the Wicked Witch.  Even when I first watched this when I was little, I felt bad.  She lost her sister.  The first thing she does when she appears is ask who killed her sister.  I have three sisters so I understand.  Glinda the Good Witch is a jerk to her and threatens that someone may drop a house on her too.  Dude, that lady's sister just died and you're going to make that remark?

Glinda established herself as a jerk right as she entered the film.  She asks Dorothy if she is a good witch or a bad witch.  Dorothy is confused because she is just a little girl, not a witch at all.  Glinda reveals that she is a witch, and not only that, a good witch.  Surprised, Dorothy was not expecting this because Glinda doesn't look like any witch from any story.  Glinda explains that "only bad witches are ugly".  If I was Dorothy, I'd be like, "bitch, you just asked if I was a bad witch".

All the Wicked Witch wants is her deceased sister's shoes.  That's all.  Glinda magically places them on Dorothy's feet.  Then, forces her to walk all the way to the Emerald City.  She does not offer her a ride on her magic bubble, and certainly does not tell her about the heel-tapping secret.  She knowingly places Dorothy in danger because the Witch is desperate to retrieve her heirloom.  And, Dorothy unwittingly kills the Witch while trying to steal her broom!  Both of their lives were in danger and everything could have been avoided if not for Glinda.  Glinda is playing a sick game and is enjoying it.  This movie is kind of messed up.

In the book, her shoes are silver.  The filmmakers wanted
to show off the color film technology and thought red
would stand out more.

A Night at the Opera (1935)

Today's film is A Night at the Opera, where the Marx Brothers crack jokes, and also there's an opera.  This is pretty standard Marx Brothers fare, with great one-liners from Groucho, and goofiness from the other two (especially Harpo, who speaks with a bicycle horn. And this time he doesn't cut things with scissors as much as he did in Duck Soup).  Zeppo is not in this film as he left to pursue a career as an agent.

The most memorable scene is when everyone piles into Groucho's cabin on the ship.  There ends up being a total of 15 people stuffed in this room.  Reminds me when I was an intern and tried to throw parties in my apartment.

Another great scene is when Harpo and Chico play the piano and harp.  Chico was really great playing the piano.  And then, once they reach the New York Opera, Harpo climbs straight up the flats and climbs the ropes like a monkey, all to get away from the police.  He ends up destroying a lot of the stage.  The funniest one-liner is when Harpo is sound asleep, and Chico says, "He has insomnia, he's sleeping it off".  That's funny right there.

Did I like this better than Duck Soup?  Mostly, yes.  Mainly because I didn't care for the songs in Duck Soup.  Today's film is more like 'comedy that happens to take place at an opera'.  I will give it a 6/10.

A Hard Day's Night (1964)

Today's film is A Hard Day's Night, a "documentary" about the Beatles.  They travel to a show in trains and cars, get mobbed by teenagers, and put on shows.  On top of this, they have to deal with Paul's creepy grandfather.

The movie's plot is everywhere and nowhere at the same time, so the only reason to watch this is the music.  This is the kind of movie I could put in for a long car trip, just to listen to the music.  Azalea kept signing "Sing!" so I had to sing every single song.  A lot of them I didn't even know, but I sang them anyway.

The best part was right at the 1 hour mark, Azalea fell asleep!  I can never get her to sleep.  Sometimes she stays up all night until morning and is still not tired. The gentle music must have lulled her to sleep.  In this case, this is one of the best movies ever.

If you like the Beatles' music, then you will enjoy this movie.  If not, then don't watch it, because that's all it is. I will give this movie a 5/10.

Grease (1978)

Today's film is Grease, a musical set in the '50s. Since most people have seen this on the screen or stage, I am going to write what I felt watching this as a child:

It used to come on TV all the time when I was a kid, and I thoroughly believed that it was a documentary filmed during the '50s featuring daily life.  At the time, it didn't occur to me that the actors were supposed to be in high school because they were so old!  I knew that they had to be in some kind of school, but I thought it must be a college, and I wasn't in high school yet so I had never to compare it to.

I did not know this was made in 1978.  I thought it was filmed in real time in the 1950's.  It did a good job of portraying what I saw as daily life then.  They talked about how cool their cars were, raced their cars, went to the soda fountain, went to the drive thru theater and so on.

I thought "Beauty School Dropout" was such a funny song.  I did not like the more romantic songs because they are gross.  I did like Rizzo's song "There are worse things I could do" because she has a beautiful voice.  Nobody like the "greased lightning" song because my dad said you shouldn't dance while working on a car.

Lastly, I watched the school dance and did not understand what was going on (are all school dances filmed?).  Lastly, everyone goes to a carnival and Sandy shows up wearing a tight black outfit as opposed to normal clothes.  Then, everyone sings again, and Sandy and Danny take off in the car the guys sung about earlier.  The car flies away with them in it and no one says a word.  Just flies away.  What.

Isn't anyone going to ask how the car is flying or where it is going?  Does no one care? I'll give this film a 6/10 for being an entertaining musical, but it is hard for a child to understand.  Cause I didn't.

The Muppet Movie (1979)

How much can I say about a film that has been loved for generations?  My grandmother watched it with my mom, my mom watched it with me, and now I watch it with my daughter.  My family has had this film memorized for years and my uncle gave me his copy of the soundtrack.  This film means more to my family than any other. For that, this film gets a 10/10.

I understand that the muppets are played by human beings.  My mom explained to me how Kermit was able to ride a bike.  Still, to me the image is fascinating.  Here is a supposed puppet moving a bike and no one is touching him!  I know it; Kermit is real. Actually, they all are and here's proof of them riding bikes:

So, in this movie, Kermit the Frog leaves his swamp to go to sunny California to audition as a movie star. On the way, he meets the rest of the muppets cast while avoiding Doc Hopper who wants to kill him/use him as a spokesfrog for his frog legs restaurant.  There are many funny instances, such as instead of telling Dr. Teeth's band their backstory (because that would bore the audience), Fozzie and Kermit hand him the screenplay.  The real stars of this movie are the muppets, but there are several human cameos, such as Steve Martin as a waiter and Mel Brooks as the mad German scientist who wants to electrocute Kermit.

The best part of this movie is the music!  Rainbow Connection is the best and totally gives me frisson.  Frisson is the tingly feeling you get when you hear a song that connects with your emotions.  In another song, Gonzo sings, "There's not a word yet, for old friends who've just met" as the camera pans over the muppets.  So many feels!

Life is a movie

keep believing, keep pretending

We've done just what we set out to do

Thanks to the lovers, the dreamers, and you!

Carmen Jones (1954)

Today's film is Carmen Jones.  It's a musical based on the opera Carmen, and set in modern times.  It takes place at an army camp near the time of the Korean War, where the lovely Carmen works in a factory making parachutes and flirts with anything that moves.  She sets her sights on Joe, who is happily engaged to the nice girl Cindy Lou and decides she must have him.

The actors playing Carmen and Joe had there singing voices dubbed over by actual opera singers, since they didn't have the range to sing opera.  This musical has the mostly the same music as Carmen, but the lyrics have all been changed to English and to fit the more modern situation.  However, this makes a lot of the singing awkward.  It's like it's trying too hard to fit the lyrics to the music perfectly and it doesn't work all the time.  Of course I loved the music, but that's thanks to the real opera.

I enjoyed Dorothy Dandridge's performance as the perpetually selfish Carmen.  She doesn't care that Joe is engaged, and she doesn't care that he'll get in trouble for not turning her in like he's supposed to.  She does wait for him to get out of jail, but after he kills someone for her and goes into hiding in Chicago, she's done.  She doesn't want to be in hiding with him, she wants to go out and party.  She goes shopping with another man's money and plans on leaving Joe, because the thrill of stealing another woman's man is gone now.  She reaches her end when the furious Joe strangles her outside of a boxing ring.  The ending is really important for me to mention because in the original opera, Carmen is killed near a bullfighting ring, while this Carmen is killed near a boxing ring! Another clever way of modernizing the story.  Also, Cindy Lou may be a nice girl, but she travels to Chicago determined to get her man back. I was proud of her.  Overall I enjoyed this musical, but not much of the lyrics themselves.  I will give it a 5/10.

Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge (1995)

Here's a fun musical, and the first Bollywood film I've ever seen!

Plot: Girl is betrothed to a guy, but falls in love with someone else.  Father is enraged when he finds out, so he moves the entire family from their home in London to India.  Girl's lover follows her to India to win over her father's approval.

Songs: Yes, I understand the film is 3 hours long, but that's mainly because of all the songs in it.  The songs are upbeat and poppy, and are very catchy.  They're one of the best things about the movie.

 I had to make sure I kept the subtitles on and actually read them during the music numbers, because the lyrics of the songs actually push the plot along and tell us a lot about what's going on.  Otherwise I would be like this:

Romance: Yes, take away the songs and this is a cheesy romanctic comedy.  This movie, however, is a cheesy romantic comedy musical.  It's different.  A lot of stuff about honor is touched upon in the film. Such as our girl, Simran, and guy, Raj, don't even kiss during their time together (I don't think they allowed this in Bollywood films a while ago, and this was 18 years ago).  Also even though Simran begs him, Raj refuses to elope.  He wants to have her father's approval so he can marry her properly.  We wish the best for Simran and hope she doesn't have to marry her betrothed (who obviously has to be the worst jerk in the world, which makes Raj look even better).

Raj tells his father that he loves Simran and so he books a train for the three of them to escape.  Raj is still bent on winning over her father, and succeeds in getting her mother's approval.  Even she tells them they need to elope.  Finally, her father discovers that Raj and Simran still love each other and all hell breaks loose.  It's obvious he really doesn't like Raj.  Raj and his father are waiting for the train, and Simran's betrothed arrives with his gang of friends to beat the crap out of them. What ensues is a terribly hilarious dance-fight. Awesome.

Simran's mother takes her to the train station so she can leave with her true love, Raj.  However, her father also arrives and grabs her arm tightly and will not let go no matter how much she begs and cries.  As the train pulls away, we worry that she will not be able to get on.  Then, at the last minute, her dad lets go!  He tells her to run to her love. What caused this sudden change of heart?  Absolutely nothing!  It's a romantic comedy, there doesn't need to be a reason!  So the lovers end up together and are happy.  The end. I'll give this film a 7/10.

The Producers (1968)

Yes, there is a musical based on this movie, and it's hilarious.  But I'm reviewing the original film, made in 1968. Gene Wilder is so funny in every movie he's in, and Zero Mostel is a treat.  They play a producer and an accountant, Max and Leo, who discover they can make a lot of money. They gather lots of money from old ladies to produce a play that's guaranteed to fail, and take all the money lost and keep it! I'm not an accountant so I'm not sure exactly how that works. But I know it can't end well.

They spend hours reading through bad plays and are about to give up.  Some plays are tasteless, crass, and weird. But they come across a gem that's sure to give them everything they want. It's a musical...

...About Nazis.  There is no way we can sympathize with the characters, the story is completely uninteresting, and I would pay money not to watch it. The musical they chose is called Caberet.

I'm just kidding - it's Springtime for Hitler.  Max and Leo choose everything bad in order to guarantee the show fails. However, if you combine a bad director, bad actors, bad everything, what do you get? Something along the lines of a B-movie, something so terrible that it's awesome.

The audience finds the musical hilarious, and it turns out to be a big hit. So Max and Leo will have to pay their backers. Oh no! Now they will be exposed for the fraudulent ways.  So they'll have to go to jail. 

Lesson learned: don't create elaborate schemes to obtain money because you will ultimately fail. Not necessarily a lesson for everyday life, but it is still worth learning. I'm giving this movie a 7/10.