North by Northwest (1959)

Today's film is North by Northwest, a film so great Kayne West named his daughter after it.  There is so much happening in this film! A lot of it went by in a blur for me. Every minute something new is happening.

First, Roger Thornhill is a regular guy.  But he is kidnapped by bad guys and almost killed. Now the cops think he is a drunk driver and a thief, and won't believe him and do really shoddy detective work.  Roger does his own detective work but then ends up being framed for murder.  The CIA knows he's innocent and use him as a pawn against the bad guys.

ahhh a plane is chasing me!

So now Roger has to elude both the bad guys and the cops! And the government helps, but not really.  Roger goes all across the country and even gets chased by a plane with a machine gun.  Then he almost falls off of Mount Rushmore! So much is happening! More exclamation points!! I will give this film a 9/10.

Ringu (1998)

Today's film, Ringu, comes to us from Japan, and basically started our obsession with Japanese Horror films in the '90s.  It relies on tension and mystery to carry the story.  There are no jump scares, and no gore.

It starts off as an urban legend, anyone who watches a certain film will die within a week of seeing it.  Reiko Awasaka is a reporter researching the deaths of the teenagers that watched this film.  Her niece passed away of an apparent heart attack, which we know really came from watching the film.

Throughout the film, we follow Reiko as she uncovers the mystery of the film.  She also watches the film. So, she knows the film will kill her, but she watches it anyway.  She also makes a copy for her ex to watch.  They learn about who created it and where they last live, so they go up there.  Reiko's ex uses his straight up magic psychic powers to look into the past and see Sadako, who created the video as her curse.  Also, their son watches the video because they didn't lock it up properly like they should have.

They see that Sadako's dad pushed her into a well, which they determine is close to the site where the video was found.  They go there, and enter the space below to find the well. They decide to go into the well to find her body.  So, yeah, it's pretty gross how she's done there when she finds the skeleton.  Reiko's time is up, but she survives.  As a result, they believe that they have broken the curse.  But they didn't.  So, her ex dies and Reiko realizes why she lived and he didn't.  She had made a copy and he watched it.  So, to free yourself from the curse, you have to make a copy and make someone else watch it.  She has to find someone to watch a copy in order to save her son.  That's where the name Ringu comes from, it has nothing to do with an actual ring, it refers to the cyclical nature of Sadako's curse.

This movie was okay, but I think I already knew too much about it anyway.  So, it really didn't affect me as much.  I haven't seen the American remake yet, either.  I am giving this film a 7/10.

Strangers on a Train (1951)

In horror films, the plot progresses because the main character/s make bad decisions.  If they would have made a good decision, there might not even be a movie at all.  Today's film is Strangers on a Train.  If you are thinking, wait, this isn't a horror film, just trust me.

Our main character is Guy, a super hot tennis player caught in a bitter divorce with his ex-wife.  He's riding on the train when approached by a man named Bruno Antony.  He seems okay, and is a fan of Guy.  So, being a sports celebrity, it is relativity easy to find out about him.  It's not like today, with facebook and instagram, where everyone puts there info online and it's incredibly easy to stalk anyone.  Bruno knows about Guy's ex-wife and how he feels about her.  He then proposes his amazing idea of the perfect murder - to switch murders so both parties have no motive yet get rid of their victims.  Now is the time to scooch away as far as you can.  But, nope.  Guy makes a bad decision and condescendingly nods and listens to Bruno's grand idea.

Bruno wants to kill his father, because his father wants him to get a job.  So, murder is totally the best route here.  But, Bruno knows he will be arrested because of his motive.  So his idea is to kill Guy's ex-wife while Guy kills his father, so neither will be caught.  Guy just entertains his idea, not realizing he is 100% serious.  I think Robert Walker's performance of Bruno is probably the best part of watching this film.

So Guy goes to see his ex-wife, who is the town bicycle (because everyone's had a ride).  His ex-wife is pregnant with someone else's baby.  She decides that since Guy finally has money and fame from his tennis career, she's going to refuse to divorce him, ruining his chances to marry his girlfriend.  She is such a slut bitch and Guy is furious.  He yells that he wants to strangle her.  Bruno, meanwhile, stalks her for a bit, and then actually strangles her.

Bruno waits for Guy outside his house, and informs he what he's done.  Guy is horrified that he was serious.  He wants to go to the police, but Bruno talks him out of it. Another bad decision by Guy.

Later, Bruno realizes that Guy isn't going to kill his father like he'd hoped.  He decides to plant evidence to convict him of his ex-wife's murder.  Guy's girlfriend tries to help, but makes it worse.  She is also smart enough to figure out what's going on without anyone telling her.

The only bad part about this film, which forces me to lower the score, is the carousel scene.  Guy and Bruno are fighting on the carousel and it explodes.  What.  What a cheap ending, all this intriguing stuff going on, and you're going to make a carousel explode.  That makes no kind of sense.  I don't like that at all.  The cops want to arrest them, and Guy wants Bruno to confess.  Bruno dies, and his evidence falls out of his hand.  If Guy would have just gone to the police a long time ago, and explained everything, none of this would happen.  So the moral of the film is, don't make bad decisions or a carousel will explode.  Still not one of the best Hitchcock films, but it's better than Rope cause that movie succkked.  I will give this film a 6/10.

Cube (1997)

Today's film is Cube, where an unseen villain places unsuspecting victims in, literally, a giant Rubik's Cube, where they must work together to navigate through a maze of traps.

I don't want to give too much away, because the suspense is the best part of watching this.  Which rooms will have traps?  What are they?  Who will die?  Let's say that only two people are actually useful, in that they can use their math skills to solve the puzzle of the Cube.

Who made this Cube?  Was it the government?  Was it aliens?  Is the government run by aliens?  Also, the cop who takes control and later beats people is by no means unexpected and should not be considered a spoiler.  After the puzzle of the Cube has been solved, what happens to those who survive?  What is on the outside of the Cube?  A new, bigger Cube??  What if its a series of cubes-within cubes within cubes???  Where does it end people?

This movie was enjoyable because it was a psychological thriller with a touch of mystery, and enough gore to keep me somewhat entertained.  I do enjoy good gore.  I will give this film an 8/10.

Notorious (1946)

Today's film is Notorious, a romance film disguised as a spy caper.  Ingrid Bergman stars as Alicia, whose father has been put away for being a Nazi.  Devlin, played by Cary Grant, lets her drive drunk around town for a bit before letting her know his real intentions: he is working for a government agency and they want her help spying on some Nazis.  But, they're all the way in Brazil.

Soon, Devlin and Alicia fly to Brazil, but he hasn't told her exactly what the job will entail yet.  Before you know it, Alicia has already fallen in love with Devlin, but with the amount she drinks, anyone would probably look handsome to her.  I was so annoyed with how heavy-handed she laid on the romance.  She spoke in those long, almost breathless tones, "oohhh, Delvin,  you're so hot with your butt-chin!" Makes me want to gag.

But the plot still exists.  The government agency, the OSS, a precusor to the CIA, want Alicia to flirt with a Nazi named Alexander Sebastian, and bonus points because he already had a crush on her at one time.  Alicia is mad about this, but agrees because that's what she came here for.  She does such a good job with the flirting that Sebastian asks her to marry him.  She doesn't want to, but the OSS convinces she has to as part of the mission.  So, that's what we're doing now, marrying off women for the greater good?  If I was Alicia, I'd be like "fuck this" and jetski away.

But, Alicia does marry him and throws a party.  Since she was concerned about a servant's reaction to a wine bottle in an earlier scene, she steals the key to the wine cellar and gives it to Devlin.  After breaking a wine bottle, they are shocked that it contains sand rather than wine.  Devlin scoops some up to take it back to the lab.  Meanwhile, Alicia's husband is still jealous of him and after finding his wine cellar key gone, realizes that Alicia is an American agent.  Sebastian's mother gets the great idea to poison her to make it look like she has an illness.  There's always some wrong or evil about mothers in Hitchcock films.

So, the sand turns out to be uranium ore which surprises everyone.  Brazil has the 6th largest reserve of uranium in the world so I don't find this surprising.  The OSS tells Alicia to find out where it's mined. (um, everywhere?)  She discovers that it's in the Aimores mountains in the town of San Ma (this part gets cut off so we don't hear the rest). It's at this point as well when she realizes she's being poisoned.  All that non-stop booze drinking she does and it's coffee of all things that's making her sick.  Devlin comes to rescue her and she tells him all this.  This bothers me.  San Ma?  San nothing! San is the Spanish word for saint, but we are in Brazil, so it should be São.  I may not know a whole lot, but I do know how to speak English and Portuguese.  (I read a little Spanish, but can't speak much).  If I'm going to do anything constructive today, it's to teach some Portuguese.  For example, Devlin calls someone from the phone in the hotel and asks, "Parle Anglaise?"  The only reason I knew how to spell this is because I keep the closed captioning on.  To say, "Do you speak English?" say, "Você fala inglês?"  Let's break this down:

Vo (like Vogue without the -g sound)-say  fah-lah een-glace (like glacier without the r).  There! Now say it together!  Você fala inglês?  Not hard at all!  We hear English, Spanish and French in this film, in fact the only language never spoken in the whole film is Portuguese, which is the national language!

To top it all off, the film ends abruptly.  Devlin places Alicia into the car to take her to the hospital.  What happens after this?  Do they get married?  What if Alicia is too poisoned and won't make it?  What about all that business with the uranium sand?  Did they think I was just going to forget about that?  Absolutely nothing gets resolved in this film except Devlin succeeds in getting rid of his romantic rival so he can get the girl again.  Which proves this is a romance film above anything else.  I will give this film a 6/10.

Le salaire de la peur (The Wages of Fear) (1953)

Today's film is The Wages of Fear.  It wasn't necessarily what I would call thrilling, but it was definitely tense.  It starts off in a town in South America people of all nationalities gather and basically do nothing.  Our main characters are either from France or Italy.  It makes me wonder how they all got to this town, whether or not they had jobs and lost them, or anything about their past really.

The first part of the film lets us get to know the main characters, the four drivers of the two trucks.  They are all immigrants to this country with no real job, except Luigi who works with concrete.  Learning that he job is contributing to some serious health issues, he agrees to go along as well.  His driving partner is Bimba.  The other truck drivers are Mario, the main guy who arrives as the sole driver and successfully delivers the nitro to the oil field.  His partner is Jo, who appears to be in charge but is really a worrisome guy.

A faroff oil well is on fire, and they need nitro to blow it out.  Why?  Because the explosion will eat up all the oxygen around the oil well, and fire needs oxygen to burn.  A big problem is that nitroglycerin is very sensitive to shock, meaning a bump can set it off in a huge explosion, and over time it becomes more unstable, making it more dangerous.  The oil field near the town has some it can deliver, but doesn't have any safety equipment to go with it.  Question: Why would they even have nitro without safety equipment to transport it?  Wouldn't it make sense to keep some on hand just in case?

The boss hires four men, who they call tramps because they don't have regular jobs, because they are not union nor do they have any family that would expect retribution if they are killed.  Each man knows how dangerous this work is.  Did anyone else notice that one truck had Mario and the other had Luigi?

Some moments are especially tense.  There is a giant boulder blocking the path of the trucks, so Bimba decides to blow it up with a bit of the nitro.  It works, spectacularly, and I worried that the rocks from the hillside might tumble down and hit the trucks.  But they didn't.

Even though we don't see exactly what happens, we see that in the distance there was an explosion.  Somehow traveling while driving through a huge puddle, Luigi and Bimba's truck has exploded and there is literally nothing left of them (except a cigarette holder).  Now the reality of just how dangerous this stuff is really sinks into the other two, who have no choice but to go through the same puddle.  I remembered earlier when Mario was backing up and asked Jo to spot for him.  No matter how many times he yelled to stop, he didn't and nearly knocked him off the cliff.  So I know that it isn't going to end well for Jo.  So when he yells at Mario to stop, again, he can't because he doesn't want to lose momentum and runs straight over Jo.  After freeing the truck from the puddle, Mario loads him onto the truck.  Right before they enter the oilfield, Jo goes into shock and dies.  Mario emerges onto the oilfield and is treated like a hero, and even given double the salary.

Mario celebrates his drive home by driving like a total asshole, weaving wildly from side to side.  He loses control of the truck and plunges off a cliff.  This is an excellent lesson to learn from a film: Don't drive like an asshole.  You might get stuck, explode, run over someone, and drive off a cliff.  All these things happened because they weren't driving as carefully as they should have.  I will give this film an 8/10.

Rebecca (1940)

Today's film is Rebecca.  It starts off very unassuming.  A young woman finds a man staring at the sea while on vacation in Monte Carlo.  They spend time together at the hotel, and a few days later he asks her to marry him and come to his estate in the country, called Manderlay.

This is all happening very fast, but I accept it because it's a romantic movie.  What's interesting is that no one ever mentions the young woman's first name.  She's only referred to as Mrs. de Winter.  Her husband is referred to as both Mr. de Winter and Maxim.  The whole estate is affected by the untimely death of Rebecca, Mr. de Winter's first wife.  She went sailing one night, something happened to the boat, and she drowned.  The body washed ashore months later and was identified by her husband.

I think the person most affected by her death was her housekeeper, Mrs. Danvers.  She lovingly keeps Rebecca's room in mint condition, exactly as it was the day she left.  I noticed that Rebecca's room was in the West Wing, and no one ever goes in there.  The new Mrs. de Winters goes upstairs and sneaks in the first chance she gets.  That's just like in Beauty and the Beast, the Beast lives in the West Wing and does not want anyone inside.  Belle sneaks in the West Wing the first chance she gets.

Mrs. Danvers is cruel to the new wife and tricks her into dressing into something Rebecca wore for her costume ball.  Maxim is very upset when he sees his wife wearing one of Rebecca's outfits.  The whole party is interrupted when a boat crashes near them.  Everyone rushes out to help, fully costumed, which I thought was funny.  Later, a diver reveals that he found the sailboat Rebecca died on at the bottom of the sea.  When they bring it up, they discover Rebecca's body inside!  Mrs. de Winters feels sorry for her husband, but he is compelled to tell her the truth.  He put Rebecca's body inside the boat and set it out to sea, because he hates her!  What!  I was not prepared for that.

He reveals that Rebecca was a manipulative bitch that slept around.  He didn't divorce her because he couldn't handle the scandal.  So, when he met Rebecca at her cottage by the sea, she told him she was pregnant with her lover's baby.  He would be forced to raise the baby, who would eventually become heir to his estate.  He got so mad he pushed her, and she smacked her head and died.  It was an accident.  So, Maxim put her on her boat and set it off, hoping to never see her again.  Well that failed.

The policeman are very kind to Maxim, but their duty is to investigate this death.  The general consensus is suicide.  Rebecca's lover, Jack, doesn't believe this and tries to blackmail Maxim.  Maxim is way cleverer than him though.  Jack is a used car salesman and is totally smarmy the whole time.  He takes Maxim and the police to Rebecca's private physican.  But what is revealed shocks everyone.  Rebecca was ill not because of pregnancy, but because she had cancer.  The doctor tells everyone of her reaction, and it is true that she did intend to kill herself.  Maybe lying to Maxim about the baby and starting the fight was her way of ending it.

Soon, everyone finds out the truth, that Rebecca had cancer.  Mrs. Danvers is affected most by it.  She hates Maxim, and really hates his wife for daring to replace Rebecca.  So, she calmly walks carrying a single candle, which she uses to set the entire house on fire!  Ahh!  Just like crazy lady from Jane Eyre! 

My, this movie was exciting.  There were so many twists I didn't know what was coming next.  I will give this film a 9/10.

Vertigo (1958)

The movie starts at with two cops doing parkour.  One is really shitty and falls off the roof.  The other one is dangling from the roof because he can't jump worth anything.  This one is played by James Stewart.  He better not fuck up this movie.  James Stewart has his leg propped up and mentions he's getting the cast around his middle taken off.  He then proceeds to stand up without any help from his cane, walk around, and bend down with no effort at all.  He picks up his cane and says that soon he'll be "without this miserable thing".  Haven't seen him use it at all.  Honestly, it's too short for him.  He would be a lot better off with a taller cane.  His real problem is his acrophobia, the fear of heights.  It gives him vertigo and reminds him of the high ledge he almost fell off.

So, Scottie, the cop played by James Stewart decides to retire. Maybe he should go on vacation. No, instead he stays in his town of San Francisco.  Good idea, there are no steep hills there or any tall buildings. He'll totally be safe.  While "relaxing", his ship-building friend asks him a favor.  He wants Scottie to follow his wife, not because she is cheating, but because she exhibits strange behavior.  Scottie gets to see his friend's wife at a restaurant.  She has platinum blonde hair, is wearing a dark blue and green dress. Then, we see Scottie looking at her out of the corner of his eye. As her profile comes into full view, the music swells really loud. That's "he wants to bang her" music.

So, the wife, Madeleine, is supposedly possessed by the spirit of her dead grandmother, who wants to kill her. Years ago, her grandmother killed herself and now I guess wants to kill her too, I don't know.  Anyway, Scottie follows her to an art gallery to look at her portrait, get flowers, drop them off at her own grave, then go out and look at the bay.  Suddenly, she jumps!  If you have ever been out there, then you know that water is freezing!  Scottie rescues her and takes her back to his house.  Eventually they're going to kiss, I know it.  Madeleine is 24 years old while Scottie is 50!  That's the difference in ages between my dad and I.  Girl, why would you want to kiss anyone that old?  This is my reaction when I saw that:

Everything leads up to this old mission.  Madeleine "remembers" everything about it, then runs for the bell tower.  Scottie can't follow because of his fear.  He sees her body fall and flees.  He and her husband go to court.  The lawyer guy totally burns Scottie all about his weakness, letting two people fall off the roof, and running away like a chicken.  The look on his face is so great.  Later he has a tripped out acid dream and wakes up in a panic.  He actually looks scared now.  So he does have another emotion besides self-righteousness.

 Does he feel guilty for Madeleine's death?  Shouldn't he have taken her to a hospital after she jumped in the bay, knowing her family history of mental illness and suicide?  NO, wait, that's Madeleine right there.  She's alive!  Or is he seeing things? No, that's her definitely being alive. What is going on?  I have never seen this film before now and I am like "Whattt".  "Madeleine" is a lookalike named Judy who was hired to fake her suicide.  Madeleine's husband told him about her grandmother, the spirit possessing her, everything.  Judy was just an actor.  She jumped in the bay to affirm her 'suicidal' tendencies.  Madeleine's husband knew he couldn't follow Judy up the bell tower stairs, where he was waiting at the top to throw her lifeless body away.  Scottie doesn't know this yet, but is happy he has Madeleine back.  He begins the extremely creepy process of turning Judy into Madeleine.

All is going great until one fateful day when Judy is getting ready for dinner and puts on Madeleine's ugly necklace!  Scottie recognizes it immediately but stays silent.  Shit is about to go down. How can Judy be so careless and stupid?  She should have thrown the jewelry away a long time ago.

He takes her back to the bell tower and reveals that he knows everything about what she did.  In a panic, she leaps off the bell tower. So she's dead.  But what about him?  He gets to live.  Yes, he gets to live knowing he watched three people fall from a roof one three separate occasions and could never do anything to save them.  But wait, he shouldn't have been mad about Judy staying because she loved him.  Truthfully, he loved her too, he couldn't get the image of Madeleine out of his head.  He never loved Madeleine; he loved Judy-as-Madeleine.  He yelled at Judy that she was great at acting our her mannerisms, how would he know what she acted like?  He never met the woman before.  The only time he ever saw her was at the restaurant the first night and I'm not sure that was the real Madeleine either.  He would have no idea what the real Madeleine was like at all.  That's why he was so content to change Judy's appearance since that's all he noticed.  Dude is shallow.

I would never go so far as to call this a masterpiece, but it was enjoyable in most parts.  I will give it a 7/10.

Rope (1948)

When I started the movie, I was quite surprised to see it was in color.  Guess I'm just used to Hitchcock films being black and white. Then I see that it stars James Stewart and I'm like blleeehhhhh.

The film opens with a man screaming.  It is then revealed that he is being strangled. Wait. Question mark. ???
How can someone scream while being strangled??

The man is David and he was murdered by Brandon, a delightful sociopath and his timid friend/possible lover Phillip.  Brandon states that he felt nothing while killing David, and afterwards felt exhilarated.  I think he wanted Phillip to feel the same way, except like most normal people, Phillip has a conscience.
Wait, did they stick him in a clothes trunk? Isn't his body going to stink up the party the fellows are hosting? Well, let's think about that.  Since he's inside in an air-conditioned apartment in nice weather, it'll take a few days for his body to decompose. It's not like he's outside in the hot sun.  So no, he won't smell for a while.

Unfortunately, some parties have a wet blanket. And here he comes: James Stewart!  Oh, the pauses between his words are so long, I want to sleep through all his little speeches.  He has no inflection in his voice, just monotone drivel.  He's their old professor, Rupert, and is all like blah blah blah Murder is a privilege for the superior beings.  Murder is an art. Hey, let's have strangulation days.  Then, he acts all horrified (act is a subjective term here) when Brandon acts upon the very thing he was preaching all throughout his classes. So he doesn't go by his own words? That would make him a liar.  Rupert might have been a more engaging character if he wasn't played by such a boring actor.  Also, if his words were harder to interpret instead of being so straightforward. I mean, everything he says makes perfect sense. I can't wait till he has to explain himself in front of a jury.  Brandon is going to blame his actions on listening to his professor's teachings and innocently acting upon them.

And the ending? Rupert shoots out the window to alert people to call police?  Why doesn't he call 911 like a normal person?  Oh, I suppose he wants the inferior people below him to call while he calmly sits there with the gun.  I hear gunshots outside all night long, how am I supposed to know the exact location of them? How would the police know so soon?  What a horrible way to end a movie.  I enjoyed watching it though, except for the addition of James Stewart.  And, all of the movie poster pictures I found either have him holding the rope or a gun.  They didn't even bother to put the real stars on the poster! I'm giving this movie a 6/10.

Sabotage (A Woman Alone) (1936)

It opens with what looks like a generator filled with sand.  Then, we see a creepy German guy walking away all creepy.  Not only is he is cartoonish villain, but he proves the Hitchcock character guide.

 

Hitchcock character guide

 

Is the character American? ---> Yes! ----> They're good!

↓

No

↓

Is the character British? ---> Yes! ---> They're really good!

↓

No

↓

Is the character European, with a Eastern European or German accent ---> Yes! ---> They're the villain!

 

The sketchy German guy, Mr. Verloc, causes a blackout by using sand, it appears, and returns to the movie theater where he lives.  He lives with his American wife, Mrs. Verloc, and her little brother. Sylvia Sidney, who plays Mrs. Verloc, is an atrocious actor.  The family is being watched by Ted, who at first appears to be an unassuming grocery store worker.  We very soon learn he is an undercover detective for Scotland Yard.  Also, Mrs. Verloc is a dark brunette while her brother is a redhead.  I do not understand genetics.

Verloc is being paid by another creepy foreigner to plant a bomb in a cloakroom near Piccadilly Circus. He was happy to cause a blackout, because he thought he was helping. However, the man is angry and wants to scare the citizens.  So he forces Verloc to plant the bomb.  Verloc doesn't want to murder anyone and doesn't want to do it.  It seems he has no choice in the matter.  I both feel pity and disgust for this character. He does not want to kill, but has no problem sending the little brother to plant the bomb.  This way, he maintains his guilt-free conscience.

 

One bad part was the tension leading up to the explosion.  We know the package is supposed to explode.  The camera constantly focuses on the package.  No matter where the little brother goes, we are reminded he is carrying the package.  All we can do is wait for it to go off and hope he's not holding it.  The bus he is riding is stuck in lunch hour traffic.  So little brother doesn't make it to his destination and the package explodes on the bus.  Immediately, it jumps to the adults laughing.

If I'm forced to watch the build-up of the explosion for like half the film, at least let me see the explosion.  Where is the thrill? I thought this said it was a thriller.  The jump is actually a terrible film transition and a poor editing choice.

Then, the wife gets all upset when she learns her brother is dead.  She stabs her husband with a rounded kitchen knife.  Then, she meets Ted the detective on the street, and confesses.  She appears distraught and no longer cares for her own life.  Ted, of course, has the whole, let's run away to Europe theory.  I also found out that they didn't need passports there back then.  Ted and Mrs. Verloc's "romance" is so laughably contrived.  Their acting is just so stupid.  I cannot take either one of them seriously.

Then, Mr. Verloc is killed in another explosion, which takes away all evidence of his murder.  So, Mrs. Verloc escapes any jail time and lives happily ever after.

As hokey as it was, it was still fun it watch.  However, I will give it a 4/10 as I expect more from the director.