Tetsuo (The Iron Man) (1989)

Today's film is Tetsuo (The Iron Man), and is one of the weirdest films I have ever seen.  What gives it a boost is its great cyberpunk soundtrack, which gives a feel to the era of floppy disks and lets me think, "Indeed, this man is turning into a mecha-robot".

His whole body is turning metal, including his
dreaded "drill boner".

The plot, which is hidden under layers and layers of weirdness, is about a metal fetishist that inserts a rusty metal rod into his leg and runs out into the street.  A man hits him with his car, dumps his body in the woods, then has sex with his girlfriend right next to the body.  The man starts growing metal all over his body.  He meets the metal fetishist again, but who is indeed alive.  He has super metal powers and he tries to destroy in in a fit of revenge.  But he cannot! They are metal!  They belong together! And together they will turn the entire Earth into rust!!  Way more funny than scary, great campy film.

The special effects are campy, but i did enjoy the stop motion animation sequences.  I also enjoyed the sped up filming.  A lot of the elements in this movie reminded me of Akira, an anime released around the same time.  I will give this movie a 6/10.

Boudu sauvé des eaux (Boudu Saved from Drowning) 1932

Today's film is Boudu sauvé des eaux (Boudu Saved from Drowning).  I'm so happy to be able to share a film like this on my blog.  Sometimes it's hard watching foreign films, since I'm the only one in the family who can read subtitles.  But, Boudu Saved from Drowning was a hidden gem and was funny.

Mr. Lestingois runs a bookstore and lives with his wife and housekeeper (mistress).  While people-watching, he spies a bum jumping into the river.  He runs out and jumps in the water to save him.

All these people are watching, but only one jumps in to save him.

Mr. Lestingois brings the bum/tramp/whatever into his house, where we learn his name is Boudu.  Boudu is unnaturally demanding for a tramp.  He doesn't want wine, he wants water. He doesn't want their soup, he wants sardines.  Anyway, Boudu's behavior is grotesque, carefree, and mostly funny. (Also near the end he does a Chaplin impression, who is the most famous tramp).

Mr. Lestingois buys him a new suit and shoes.  He lets Boudu stay in his house as his guest.  But since this is a comedy about the difference in classes, we are again reminded that this guy is a bum.  He is rude, dirty, perverted, and crass.  And he is never grateful, not once.  

Mr. Lestingois is not without fault.  He's always sleeping with his cute housekeeper when he gets the chance. He says his wife won't fulfill him.  Maybe she's depressed, I'm not going to judge her.

The housekeeper orders Boudu to shine his shoes before going out. So he does. With his bare hands.  Then, proceeds to wipe them all over Mrs. Lestingois'  stuff.  She confronts him angrily and he apparently rapes her.  But she's cool with it, probably since this is the first time in a long time a man has paid attention to her.  So she starts loving on Boudu, while her husband cheats on her with the housekeeper.  Soon, they catch each other in the act.  Now what are they supposed to do?  Lol, not telling.

This movie was well done. And, it was restored so the picture was really crisp.  I thought it was one of the funniest old films I have seen. I will give it an 8/10.

La planète sauvage (The Fantastic Planet) 1973

Today's animated feature is The Fantastic Planet.  What a super trippy ride this was.  The animation style was somewhat like Monty Python and the weird alien-like creatures were straight out of The Yellow Submarine.

There are giant blue aliens called "traags" and there are humans like us called "oms".  Sometimes these oms are kept as pets, but most are wild.  The wild ones are like pests to the traags.  The story focuses on one pet om who has a kind young owner named Tiwa who keeps him near her during her school lessons.  She's homeschooled and gets her lessons from a headset.

Since one week on this planet equals one year on Earth, the humans grow quickly. Tiwa's pet, who she names Terr, learns everything he can from the headset and eventually runs off to join the wild oms.  Terr teaches the other oms to read, and they work together to escape the traags who are trying to exterminate them.  They build a rocketship and wind up on the Fantastic Planet, where they find weird headless statues of naked people.  These are actually important to the plot, and the oms destroy them with a laser beam.

Finally, the giant traags take the little oms seriously.  They stop exterminating them like bugs and they learn to live together. Why?  Because one person learns how to read and spreads knowledge throughout the om community.  The lesson: Knowledge is power. Or, as G.I. Joe says, "Knowing is half the battle." I will give this film a 7/10.

Rope (1948)

When I started the movie, I was quite surprised to see it was in color.  Guess I'm just used to Hitchcock films being black and white. Then I see that it stars James Stewart and I'm like blleeehhhhh.

The film opens with a man screaming.  It is then revealed that he is being strangled. Wait. Question mark. ???
How can someone scream while being strangled??

The man is David and he was murdered by Brandon, a delightful sociopath and his timid friend/possible lover Phillip.  Brandon states that he felt nothing while killing David, and afterwards felt exhilarated.  I think he wanted Phillip to feel the same way, except like most normal people, Phillip has a conscience.
Wait, did they stick him in a clothes trunk? Isn't his body going to stink up the party the fellows are hosting? Well, let's think about that.  Since he's inside in an air-conditioned apartment in nice weather, it'll take a few days for his body to decompose. It's not like he's outside in the hot sun.  So no, he won't smell for a while.

Unfortunately, some parties have a wet blanket. And here he comes: James Stewart!  Oh, the pauses between his words are so long, I want to sleep through all his little speeches.  He has no inflection in his voice, just monotone drivel.  He's their old professor, Rupert, and is all like blah blah blah Murder is a privilege for the superior beings.  Murder is an art. Hey, let's have strangulation days.  Then, he acts all horrified (act is a subjective term here) when Brandon acts upon the very thing he was preaching all throughout his classes. So he doesn't go by his own words? That would make him a liar.  Rupert might have been a more engaging character if he wasn't played by such a boring actor.  Also, if his words were harder to interpret instead of being so straightforward. I mean, everything he says makes perfect sense. I can't wait till he has to explain himself in front of a jury.  Brandon is going to blame his actions on listening to his professor's teachings and innocently acting upon them.

And the ending? Rupert shoots out the window to alert people to call police?  Why doesn't he call 911 like a normal person?  Oh, I suppose he wants the inferior people below him to call while he calmly sits there with the gun.  I hear gunshots outside all night long, how am I supposed to know the exact location of them? How would the police know so soon?  What a horrible way to end a movie.  I enjoyed watching it though, except for the addition of James Stewart.  And, all of the movie poster pictures I found either have him holding the rope or a gun.  They didn't even bother to put the real stars on the poster! I'm giving this movie a 6/10.

Independence Day (1996)

Today's movie is Independence Day.  Watching this movie today has been a family tradition for 16 years.  I'd like to share that tradition with you by providing this review.  In addition to this, I also watched a making of documentary which was very informative.  They used tiny buildings in miniature towns.  I loved seeing how they made all the special effects.

Plot:  Aliens have come to destroy the world because they want to use up all our natural resources. Resources, you know, like oil?  We can't let them take our planet's oil; that belongs to America!

Throughout the film, we see various people cope with the alien's destruction and travel to find safe haven.  Eventually, they end up at Area 51, which for a super secret base in the middle of the desert, is super easy to find.  Notable characters include Captain Steven Hiller, played by Will Smith, and David, played by Jeff Goldblum.  The combination of these actors makes this a very entertaining movie.

There are several mistakes and scenes that make me say "what?!".  For example, David claims he can 'triangulate' Connie's location inside the White House and proceeds to set only one antenna.  Also, in the scenes set in Area 51, the beautiful white desert could only be the Bonneville Salt Flats in Utah, while Area 51 should be in Nevada where the film claims it is.  Also, in the beginning where the ships are passing over the moon: the American flag should be all white by now because there's nothing to protect it from the sun's rays, and the footprints would not be destroyed by vibrations because the moon's atmosphere is too thin to allow them.  I could actually write a book about how many mistakes there are.

The entire world is saved thanks to the efforts of the United States of America.  Why? Because America is great and this is a movie about our Independence Day.  When the aliens take control and block out the satellites, what do we do?  All of the world sends messages to each other using Morse Code, which was invented in America!  When David is demonstrating the alien ship's forcefield, he uses a Coke can - which was made in America.  And he creates the virus using an American laptop, even though I had no idea one could write a virus program using an Apple.  

And speaking of the ship's forcefield, how convenient was it that out of the millions of possible life forms in the universe, we happen to have the exact kind of spaceship the evil aliens have?  Holy coincidences Batman! It is also lucky that all Marines are skilled in flying spaceships or else we'd have no one to fly the thing.  And let's forget all about the scientists who have dedicated their lives to studying extraterrestrial beings and equipment and stick Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum on the ship, because fuck it, it'll be funnier.

With all its mistakes, the movie is a fun one to watch. Most years we watched the 'quick' version because my mom would fast forward to the explosion scenes because "talking is boring".  I will give this an 8/10 and now return to my beer and watermelon because today is our Independence Day.

In the Heat of the Night (1967)

Today's film is In the Heat of the Night, which features Sidney Poitier as Virgil Tibbs, a detective trying to solve a murder in a town full of racism.

In a town in Mississippi where no one is ever murdered, someone is murdered.  The police have no idea what do, and as the film progresses, randomly arrest people based on speculation. Virgil is quietly minding his own business waiting for the train when he is grabbed and arrested without being questioned.  Soon the police learn that not only is he innocent, but he is a police officer in Philadelphia.  Bonus: He's the best homicide detective in Philadelphia.  So the prideful police chief begrudgingly asks him for help.  Virgil doesn't want to, but his boss tells him to.

The police chief, Gillespie, asks him his name, and when he replies, "Virgil", he laughs. But he doesn't understand how important he will be to the investigation. None of the police have ever been through the hell of a homicide investigation, and as an experienced detective with forensic knowledge, Virgil is the perfect guide.

I did enjoy watching the early forensics.  He was good about looking at the victim's hands and his head injury. He proved the innocence of another man they arrested because of this.  However, he goes to the victim's car and sees the bloodshed.  He wipes his bare hand all over it!  ewwwwwww.

Why are the talking portions so quiet while the guy running through the leaves is so blaring?

I was wrong about all those people smoking in the '40s movies.  Smoking is not the worst habit. Smacking gum with your mouth open is! Gillespie is a nasty gum smacker. That is so nasty.  In every scene I see him, he is smacking his gum with his mouth wide open.The funniest was when the camera zoomed in on his face, smacking away in tune to the music!

Most of the film deals with the main character's prejudices.  The police and other residents of the town are mostly racists, while Virgil is a classic example of a Northerner's superiority complex.  Gillespie and Virgil slowly start to lose their prejudices, but never fully let go because they are prideful.  Both of them were good actors, and I particularly liked his death stares. Also, dude slapped a guy. I will give this film an 8/10.

Night of the Living Dead (1968)

Today's film is Night of the Living Dead, a landmark film that started the zombie craze.  Without this we wouldn't have Left 4 Dead, Resident Evil, that Walking Dead show, or many others.

Our main characters are holed up in a farmhouse, trying to survive the zombie attacks.  But they weren't even called zombies back then.  They were called 'ghouls'.  No one knew what they were or what they were capable of.  We learn most of what is happening from the TV and radio.  Apparently the recently dead's brains are reactivated by passing satellite from Venus or some other cock-eyed sci fi excuse.  One thing that stands out to me is the reason for 'zombie-ization' is different.  For example, in Resident Evil, it is the T-virus that reanimates cells.  Anyways the end result is always a dangerous thoughtless creature bent on eating us and spreading the infection.

The best character was Ben.  He was capable of thinking under pressure and wouldn't take shit from anyone.  Especially that coward who wanted to stay in the cellar.  He kept trying to boss Ben around, but he was having none of it.  Barbra was infuriating.  Sure, she did lose her brother, but she was reduced to an almost catatonic state.  There's a couple also hiding in the cellar who try to help out, but only succeed in blowing up the truck outside.

Then there's the little girl lying injured downstairs.  We know that if anyone is bit by a zombie, they will soon become a zombie themselves.  But people watching this for the first time wouldn't know because the ground rules for zombies had not been set yet.  This leads to a confusing point.  The girl has been bitten.  Later, she arises as a zombie to kill and eat.  Did the bite itself cause her to transform?  Or did she die from her injury and become reanimated?

The greatest part was my husband's reaction.  He walked past and asked what it was.  I told him, his eyes got huge (that is a feat for him) and ran into the bedroom to play some video game.  He kept hollering "Is it over yet?" and would not come near the living room until I said yes. I asked him why he didn't want to stay with me, and he replied "I do not like black and white movies.  They are stupid.  Every movie on that stupid list of yours is stupid."  He means the 1001 list of movies, and yes he is a master of words.  He brings me a copy of the Expendables 2 and claims it is far superior to anything on the list and anyone who thinks differently has the wrong opinion.  Never mind that he himself has not seen the movie yet.  I asked him if he was afraid of zombies, and of course he denied it.  So I asked why he always refuses to play Resident Evil with me, and he replies that he hates shooter games.  This is my reaction the entire time he is ranting:

Also, the dark ending was great yet expected.  It's a zombie apocalypse, it can't end happy!  I can imagine this must have been terrifying back when it first came out, long before our zombie obsessed culture arose. (Lol, arose).  Anyway, I enjoyed it and I will give it an 8/10.